Judge, 1903-10-17 · page 7 of 16
Judge — October 17, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Prosperity Ahead"** depicts a politician confidently drumming about good times ahead—satirizing politicians' optimistic campaign rhetoric disconnected from reality. **"Where They Finish"** uses the phrase "Salt river" as a punchline. In period slang, being sent "up Salt river" meant electoral defeat. Politicians camping in nature hear booming sounds they mistake for the river's name—a joke about politicians being sent to political oblivion (defeat). **"Recognized It"** mocks a wife's poor cooking; the husband "recognizes" her pudding because it tastes like the house materials (plaster, wallpaper, shingles)—dark humor about domestic incompetence. **"What Is Needed"** satirizes automobile culture; an angry car owner rebukes his chauffeur for reckless driving, coining "horseless sense" (pun on "horse sense"). **"Fatty in the Fall"** contains crude fat-shaming humor about overweight people. The page satirizes politicians, marriage, automobiles, and social types—typical Judge content mocking American society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PROSPERITY ‘AHEAD, ‘Mt Wuyi Wi Y THE way, On my drum Soon I'll play Rumty-tum. In advance Of the pro- Cesh T'll prance, Don't you know. While I whizz In the sun It is biz And it's fun— Tt with cash For the beans And the hash Fills my jeans. WHERE THEY FINISH. THE little party of politicians is enjoying a trip through the tall timber. One night they en- camp at the side of a placid stream. In the still- ness of early morn they are aroused by a sono- rous “ Boom-er-oom—er-com—-oom !" The sound dies away, only to be succeeded by a fainter “ Boom-er-oom-oom—er-00-0 !" Sitting up in his pajamas, one of the poli- ticians observes, «Say, fellows, I'll bet five dollars this stream is called Salt river.” : “ Why 2” is the sleepy inquiry. “ Don’t you notice how the booms end here ?” is the answer. RECOGNIZED IT. 6s HIS," smiled the fond young wife as she passed a plate of dessert to her husband, “is cottage pudding. I made it myself.” ‘The man tasted of it. “I'd have known it was cottage pudding,” he asserted. “You would 2” she asked, delighted. “Yes. Ican taste the plaster and the wall-paper. What did you do with the shingles and the bricks for the chimney ?” HOW IT HAPPENED. —"* My man, what is the cause of your being here?"’ Prison-worxer: Convict—" We , me lawyer knew too little an’ de jury knew too much.” rwwees | A FACT ON THE FACE OF IT. ‘Custouer—"' Have you any brains?" Burcter—:'No, ma'am; I'm oud ohf brains alretty.”” WHAT IS NEEDED. SRILY the owner of the automobile stares at the wreck, from which the chauffeur is crawling, a look of apology mingling with the mud on his face. “Didn't [ tell you not to try to make that turn at full speed ?” asks the owner. “If I hadn't jumped in time I might have been killed.” “ But, sir,” protests the chauffeur, “I thought "— “ Don't bother to tell me what you thought!” orders the angry man, “I should think a person who claims to be able to run an auto would have a little horseless sense,” FATTY IN THE FALL. S6\AJHAT makes the fat man feel so gay?” Said Skinny on the sly. “Oh, he can wear a collar now," Slimithy did reply. “And he can wear his galluses Like any other man, ‘And doesn’t have to anchor to An old electric fan. “« And he can wear a waistcoat now When he gocs out to call, Though Fatty falls in summer time, He rises in the fall. 7. BROOKS. ‘THE GOOD ADVERTISERS. SOYVHAT type of ze American girl is it,” asks the count, “zat is al-ways conspicuous at ze seashore by ze shortness of ze cos- tume, and in ze ball-room by ze shortness in ze other way of ze costume, und in street-dress by ze what you call drop-stitch and ze like 2” “That?” we answer airily. “Oh, that is the display type.” comicbooks.com