Judge, 1903-10-03 · page 6 of 16
Judge — October 3, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces satirizing American society: **"A Schism"** mocks industrial monopolies (trusts). Trust barons meet to discuss threats—anarchist bombings and public hostility. They propose criminalizing bomb possession, but one baron objects: he *owns* the bomb trust. The satire targets the absurdity of monopolists controlling industries while claiming victimhood, and the inherent conflict between profit motives and public safety. **"The Vital Reason" and "He Wasn't, So He Was"** are brief domestic jokes about marriage and employment—standard humor unrelated to trusts. **"The Thoughtful Employer"** satirizes exploitative labor practices. A boss tells his new office boy to rest, then immediately assigns him physically exhausting work (beating rugs), planning to assign more during subsequent "rests." It critiques the false benevolence of employers who claim concern for workers while maximizing their labor. The page reflects Progressive Era anxieties about unchecked corporate power and worker exploitation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A SCHISM. THE trust barons are assem- % bled to discuss the outlook. “The enmity toward us,” says the fattest of them, “is assuming alarming propor- tions. Already the anarchists talk of throwing bombs at us. | Something must be done.” “Let us have a law,” sug- gests the brainiest of them, “making it a penal offense for any one to have a bomb in his | possession.” “Hold on!" exclaims the boldest of them. “ You forget that Lam the president of the r bomb trust.” None the less, the sugges- tion finds favor, and in the end the bomb magnate stalks from the room in high dudgeon, HE WASN'T, SO HE WAS. +4] SUPPOSE Griggleby was fired with enthusiasm when he took up the duties of his new position ?" No; he seemed to get lazier every day. Finally he was discharged.” “You don’t say 2” THE VITAL RE. N. “Yes. He wasn't fired ‘Sue—" Folks say you only married me because I had money."* with enthusiasm at the: start, He—" Nonsense! My principal reason for marrying you was because | had none.” but he was at the finish.’ THE THOUGHTFUL EMPLOYER. +4 NOW, James,” said the thoughtful employer to the astute youth “But I am not tired, sir,” explained the new boy. “I really do whom he had engaged as office-boy and general-utility person, _ not feel it necessary to take a rest.” “while you are resting from the labor of sweeping out the office you “All right,” responded the thoughtful employer. You may take } might take the rugs out into the area-way and beat the dust from out the rugs and beat them until you are tired, and by that time I will | them.” . have thought of something else you may do while you are resting.” ‘A SURPRISE. ‘Ancric expLorer—*Oh, yes; we lived on ‘canned food’ for two years while in the arctic."" Girt —"* Why, I didn’t know there were country boarding-houses in the arctic."” comicbooks.com