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Judge, 1903-09-26 · page 11 of 16

Judge — September 26, 1903 — page 11: what you’re looking at

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Judge — September 26, 1903 — page 11: Judge, 1903-09-26

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising and humor snippets** rather than political satire. The content includes: **Poetry/Humor pieces:** "The Foo-Chang Tragedy" is a cautionary fable about a man named Chang who builds a bubble-balloon to reach the moon; it explodes mid-flight. The moral warns against trusting in unstable schemes. **Comic anecdotes:** Brief jokes about church sermons (a man misunderstanding Joseph selling "corn" in Egypt as a commodity transaction), marriage humor (a wife's money-dependent husband admitting he'd be a bachelor without her), and misunderstandings about college athletic "records." **Advertisements:** The page is dominated by product ads—Packer's Tar Soap, Egyptian Deities cigarettes, Williams' Shaving Soap, Evans Oil, and Sohmer Pianos—interspersed with testimonials (notably a lengthy one about Grape-Nuts cereal curing a baby's digestive problems). **Context:** This reflects early 1900s American magazine format, where satirical publications mixed light humor with revenue-generating advertisements. The jokes target everyday situations rather than specific political figures or events.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

—s- ‘THE FOO-CHANG TRAGEDY. “I'm going,” cried Chang, « Way up to the moon, To see ifa man lives there !” So out of a bubble He made a balloon, And floated away through the air. But ere he had gone Very far on his way, The bubble exploded—ker bang ! And so ‘tis my sorrowful Duty to say ‘That that was the end of Foo-Chang. Mort: In framing your maxims Let this one prevail : Who counts upon bubbles Is certain to fail. —Four-Track News. UNRIVALED APPETIZING TONIC. Dr. Siegert’s world-renowned _Angostura Bitters. Awards at twenty-two Expositions. Refuse imitations. Purchaser— But you said it was an extra.” Howling newsboy—" Well, "tis. Dey "—Chicago News. Don't despair. Ill health flees when Abbott's, the Original Angostura Bitters, are used. Preacher—" Have you seriously consid- ered the great question of life, Mary ?” Girl parishioner— None of the young men has asked me as yet, sir."—San Francisco Wasp. When your barber talks “Shampoo” specify Packer's Tar Soap Pure as the Pines Antiseptic—Invigorating The Standard for the Hair ‘The Packer Mfg. Co., New York. What wuz th’ sermon about, Saman- thy 2” asked old man Meddergrass on his wife's return from church. “Sumthin’ about a feller by th’ name of Joseph sellin’ corn down tew Egypt,” answered the good woman. « An’ did th’ parson say what corn wuz sellin’ fer down thar 2" asked the old man, who was interested in the market reports. —Chicago News. You don't have to be a connoisseur to see that vane is the best in the world. ie one more dan I paid fur by mis-| Bokr— This weather is getting to be monotonous, isn’t it ?” Krabbid— Not nearly so monotonous as all the talk about it."—Philadelphia Public Ledger. Mrs, Dixon—"1 was so shocked to hear of your husband's death ! I came to console with you on your great loss.” Mrs. Weeds (absently)—" Yes; but it was fully covered by insurance."—Phila- delphia Bulletin. “Oh, you needn't talk,” said the indig- nant wife. “What would you be to-day if 1t were not for my money? Answer that, will you 2” “That's an easy one,” replied the heart- less wretch. “I'd be a bachelor."—Gin- cinnati Tribune. A gay picnic cannot be held without a few bottles of Cook's Champagne, Jmperial Extra Dry. Itis sparkling and delicious. particular line 2” somebody asked of the college graduate’s proud mother. sh, yes,” was the reply. “I heard one of his friends say that he made a great record for himself on the rush-line the last two years he was in college."— Syracuse Herald. THEY THRIVE ON GRAPE-NUTS. Healthy babies don’t cry and the well nourished baby that is fed on Grape-Nuts is never a crying baby. Many. babies who cannot take any other food relish the perfect food Grape-Nuts and get well. “ My little baby was given up by three doctors who said that the condensed milk on which I had fed it had ruined the child’s stomach. One of the doctors told me that the only thing to do would be to try Grape-Nuts, so I got some and pre- pared it as follows: I soaked 1% table- Spoontuls in one.pint of cold water for half| an hour, then I strained off the liquid and mixed 12 teaspoonfuls of this strained Grape-Nuts juice with six teaspoonfuls of rich milk, put in a pinch of salt and a little sugar, warmed it and gave it to baby every two hours. «In this simple, easy way I saved baby’s life and have built her up to a strong, healthy child, rosy and laughing. The food must certainly be perfect to have such a wonderful effect as this, I can truthfully say I think it is the best food in the world to raise delicate babies on and is also a delicious, healthful food for grown-ups, as we have discovered in our family.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Grape-Nuts is equally valuable to the strong, healthy man or woman, Grape-Nuts food stands for the true theory of health. Look in each package for a copy of the famous little hook, “The Road to Wellville.” Assessor—"T'll put you down as a re- tired tarme Quitwork—“ Yes; an’ darn tired of everything."—Aittsburg Gazette. THE “SOHMER’? HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST “Did your son specialize along any| —— Mr. Crimsonbeak—" Why, it means the | shortcomings.” CUBS’ FOOD. + |same as when a woman leaves the room| Duddy— No, I hope not. That would : and slams the door after her."_- Yonters | be egotistical, you know."—-Boston Tram- GRADE PIANOS SOHMER PIANOS sohmer Building, nly microm The proof is in every bottle. IF IN HASTE TAKE THE NEW YORK CENTRAL. eer Sth Ave. cor 224 St, a Simple, Elegant, Luxurious, Pure, Fragrant. | ‘No better Turkish cigarette can be made, Cork tips or plain tips No. Seize, 10for Scents, No. 1 size, 10 for Scents, Look for signature of S. ANARGYROS. Mrs. Crimsonbeak (at the ball-game) | Fuddy—" You say you have a very ten- —"What does it mean, John, when a/der conscience. I notice it is wonderfully man at the bat throws the bat down and sensitive to the faults of others ; but it retires to the bench 2” never appears to be troubled by your own Statesman. WILLIAMS *Scar- script, BE FAIR TO YOUR FACE and your face will be fair. Can you afford to be less careful about the soap you put on your face, than about the food you eat ? Think what one mistake may cost you. There's only one safe way. When shaved by barbers insist that they use the Old Reliable Williams’ Shaving Soap; accept no substitute from dealers, if you shave yourself. Sold in the form of Shaving Sticks, Shaving Tablets, etc., throughout the world, THE J. B. WILLIAMS CO., Glastonbury, Conn., U. S. A. soxpou Pans ‘sro comicbooks.com