Judge, 1903-09-12 · page 4 of 16
Judge — September 12, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several separate satirical pieces rather than unified political commentary: **"Back to School"** mocks the misery of returning students—the "school-bound boy" losing his carefree summer joy. **"Judge's Favorites"** is a poem by Madeline Bridget celebrating feminine grace and beauty. **"Shattering an Illusion"** jokes about a husband's disappointment when his wife reveals she promised the minister to "love, honor and obey"—satirizing both marital expectations and ministerial authority. **"On the Links"** depicts a golf scene with working-class humor about a caddy negotiating fees. **"Between Friends"** shows two women discussing a new hat. The page is primarily **light humor and social satire** aimed at upper-middle-class readers, with no evident political commentary. The illustrations suggest early 20th-century publication.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BACK TO SCHOOL, NOW the bell is ringing, and he's feeling sick ‘As to school e’a trudging on the double-quick. No more catching sunfish in the swimming-pool ‘No more picking daisies in the meadow cool. Now the second reader and the awful sums Set his head a-spinning till it simply hums. Pity all the feelings of the school-bound boy Who's not quite the dancing acolyte of joy. PROFESSIONAL CRITICISM. Old yacktsman—" How does Mr, Inlander take to yachting ?” : Old skipper—« Well, sir, he’s more like a sailor ashore, and more like a landsman afloat, than any other gentleman I ever see.” AN AMATEUR NOW. 66QIR,” says the wild-eyed individual who has forced his way into the office of the dramatic manager, “I am the reincarnation of Baron Munchausen.” “Glad to see you, What can I do for you?” “T want a position as press-agent.” “Sorry to disappoint you, but the position calls for a man of imagination.” —— oe 4 Ss io JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MADELINE BESLEY, ‘Whene’er it comes unto the witching grace That puts the fair possessor at the front, You, never fear, will quite appropriate The laurel crown which stands for fame, succtss, ‘And many shekels of the fleeting coin That buys the hat, the gown, and other things ‘That fill the heart of Clara Vere de Vere ‘With thrilis of joy that ne'er can be explained. That's all we have to say, and that's enough, Light-footed sylph that paints our fancies red. SHATTERING AN ILLUSION. 66 RUT, my angel,” protested the husband when his wife had for the first time set her foot down and told him she would not do what he wanted her to, “you promised the minister to love, honor and obey me.” “ Ministers,” she retorted, “ are often vision- ary. Besides, at such a time, they have to be bce te | humored. ADT eay at ibete ate) SRY. cver eons, Doo-mernchant—" Say, mister, don't you want to buy a nice collie for five dollars ?"* | to be made, it seems to me the preacher is the Wie McHoor— Fore!” ‘one to speak first.” Doo-merchant—‘* Make it four an’ a half an’ I'll throw in the collar." Vivan—"* Do you like her new hat?" No; it's perfectly lovely!” comicbooks.com