Judge — September 5, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘One copy, UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or senumbers= se rmonthaor numbers = = ewe RD ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks NETKE.TH STREET, New Yous. irguctte Bui ding, Chicago, Md. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS $500 135 Tncluting the Cusesruas Jupce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year, Evnorean saves-acents—/ntermational News Company, Dream's building, Chanccry Lane, F.C, London: Brentans's, avenne del Opera, Paris ‘Srurhach's News Exchange, Mai The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this conyrigM ‘xll be promplly and vizorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inctose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manasoripts, otbePivise return of the latter when found urxvailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address Yoritten plainly on each and cvery separate sketch. The accompanying joke or descriptive letterpress should tn every instance be woritien upon its indroldaal picture, and NOT uron a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamps to the full amount of postage 1s also required, 10 insure safe and prompt return of material not accepted. HE YACHT-RACES for the cup were, so to speak, a game of single-sticks. . ‘\ F THERE WAS only sufficient material, David Pea- nut Hill might be converted into an ideal cave of lence. 1B MR. A. P. GORMAN is at present climbing the greased pole of deep and, at the same time, very wide reflection. IF THE horny-handed workingman but knew his busi- ness, the walking delegate would be more walked upon than walking. a as HE GREAT BEAUTY of the late free-silver plank seems to consist in the fuct that the late W. J. Bryan walked it. ALTHOUGH the daisies still may gayly star The mead whose beauty happy bards indorse, The county fair is scented from afar In squash and grape and gaunt four-minute horse. eee | T BEGINS to look as if the Democratic candidate is to be a dark horse. Let us trust that when he comes up to be knocked down he may not prove to be blacker than painted. Let us also trust that his moral hide may display a white spot or two that may not, upon analysis, reveal the usual whitewash formula, WHEN THE CLERGYMAN of fashion is foundering between the two fires of a hot wave and a sore throat, and flees as a bird from these twin terrors, the royal proprietor of the lower regions braces himself up ee and comes to town for a brief season of business activity. The church being closed, the sore-throated shepherd hies him merrily to the seashore, that he may care for the wealthy members of his flock, who may or may not need his spiritual aid. It is then that the horned monarch, probably be- lieving that time spent on the social contingent by the sea would be literally time squandered and thrown away, so far as captures are concerned, prefers to linger among the goody-goody stay-at-homes, so called, in the cheerful and refreshing belief that in so doing better luck may crown his various efforts. If the reverend champion would live up to his obligations, he ime between his lambs that are divided between the town, throat with the grand combination of faith and patent medicine. the open-door keepers on the earth, the czar bids fair to go into history as the one entitled to the deathless crown of fame. He has a business.eye which, when weighed in the commercial scales, wins the admiration of Bradstreet and is given the highest rating. The czar is at no other time so happy as when this door is wide open. Contrary to the dictum of the ancient star of negro minstrelsy, he believes that a door is a door when it is ajar, and at no other time. His door, that is always open that the devouring of victims may be a continuous performance—if the supply of victims but keeps up—is not a figure-four trap to catch a bear, but a bear to catch anything that comes along. His eye is keen, and no razor is quite so sharp as is his appetite, which, like the greed of his can- dle-fed owner and press-agent, is as strong as death. Time may capture his fangs and impair his powers of digestion and assimilation. If it does not, then will history have ceased to repeat itself. The door which is open to-day may be closed to-morrow, and the bear that is the right bower of the czar at the present writing may in a handful of fleeting minutes be the hair-grease that is dispensed upon the public thoroughfares at ten cents a box. EVIDENTLY WELL FIXED. Farmer Greene. Farmer Brown —' Ol’ Bill Jenkins must hev money enough tew retire an’ live comfortable." That's right. No man would work eighteen hours a day an’ live on buttermilk an’ pertaters, like Bill does, unless he had th’ ‘ dough.’ * comicbooks.com