Judge, 1903-08-29 · page 6 of 17
Judge — August 29, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's format: **"Educational" cartoon**: A trainer teaches a dog to sit for a frankfurter sausage—likely satirizing the recent scandal over diseased meat in sausages, making the "education" darkly ironic. **"In Its Worst Form"**: A seasick passenger complains that ship motion isn't poetic but "rag-time poetry"—mocking both romantic notions of sea travel and the contemporary craze for ragtime music. **"The Cup Is Safe/Landed the Peer"**: A British nobleman ("ludship") proposes to an heiress after she makes a pun about ships being feminine because they're "destined for some particular pier"—satirizing upper-class courtship rituals and British affectation. **Minor pieces** include jokes about hash monopolies, drunken sailors, grasshoppers cheating at races, and bachelor yachtsmen—all social satire on contemporary concerns like trusts, labor, and wealth disparity. The overall tone mocks British pretension, food safety issues, and modern commercialism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
EDUCATIONAL. A, HA! little Towser. Sit up and I'll give You quick a frankfurter, as sure as I live. And you and the sausage, from morning till dark, May caper and frolic and gleefully bark. So hurry, oh, hurry! and learn to sit up, If you'd have the sausage with joy brim your cup. IN ITS WORST FORM. 44] THOUGHT you said you considered sailing the poetry of motion,” chuckled the old salt to the passenger who was hang- ing over the rail. The passenger turned a green face and yellow eyes to the old salt. “It is,” he gasped.“ It’s—it's—why, dadblast it! it's the rag-time poetry ot motion.” THE CUP IS SAFE. LANDED THE PEER. Ad 66 [P)OOCEDLY odd, doncherknow,” mumbled his ludship to the beauteous heiress, who was letting him have occasional glances from her limpid eyes ; *doocedly odd that all ships should be referred to in the feminine | gender, doncherknow. Baw Jove! I wondah why ?” The heiress gave him a sentimental look before answering. “Why—why, I suppose the ships are spoken of as if they were girls because each one seems to be destined for some particular pier.” | One week later his ludship saw the point, and that same week the an- nouncement was made of their engagement. UNFAIR. *{ shan't race with you. You cheat—ou Swat (to grasshzpper) started before the bell rang. NEW VERSION. FSPBING a song of yachterace, I I] Pocketful of sky— | Four and twenty Sham. rocks Coming by and by. ‘When they all are beaten We will have to sing, “Isn't that a pretty tale To carry to the king?” DRY, TOO. 46 QAIL, ho!” called the lookout. “Where away ?” asked the first mate. "Six plints off the lee bow.” “Make it eight pints,” ‘or- dered a thirsty passenger. “Ican drink a quart, myself, any time.” WHAT HE WANTED. First boarder— wish some benevolent monopolist would or- ganize a hash trust.” Second boarder— Why ?* First boarder— Because I'd like to see the article out of the reach of the masses.” FA CONFIRMED bechelot yachts You say Gotr sleep nights aa wu? I didn't know he had a baby. = “You sa} ox can’t sleep nights on account of "t know he had a AY man is what might be called i Oh povitsHa'e Wortted vo dently about that intent tiduany hein SylGy tw Gapltalize for soo humsired valllion a genuine single-sticker. dollars. comicbooks.com