Judge, 1903-08-15 · page 10 of 16
Judge — August 15, 1903 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical jokes typical of early 20th-century American humor: **The Sonnet** mocks the frustration of everyday mishaps—hammers hitting thumbs instead of nails, stubbed toes. The complaint that inanimate objects seem to deliberately cause pain is absurdist humor about life's minor annoyances. **"So They Told"** uses racist dialect humor (common to the era) about Black characters discussing a man's "regular life" going to bed with chickens—a joke about rural simplicity. **"A Sure Cure"** satirizes prison reform through a jailer claiming health-food serves as punishment worse than solitary confinement—mocking emerging ideas about prison conditions. **"Not the Only Pebble"** references Robinson Crusoe, playing on the phrase "not the only pebble on the beach" (meaning not uniquely special). The joke: Crusoe is alone at a resort yet girls ignore him until Friday arrives—suggesting male vanity or that companionship matters more than isolation. **"True Home Charity"** is a domestic joke: the wife lectures about charity beginning at home; the husband responds she should practice charity herself by "casting bread upon waters"—sarcasm about her stinginess.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SONNET. HREE. hours last night I walked the floor with pet, And thrice on yon grim rocker ran my toe. Now, had I, purposeful, by day tried so To strike that seif-same point, to win a bet, The guaxdness knows I'd not have hit it yet! How strange it is the cruel hammer’s blow Lands on my thumb with swiftensuing woe And skips the nail on which my aim was set! There is no cause of cussing in this world So cusséd as the cussedness of t Which seem inanimate but aren't a bit. There's not one wild anathema I've hurled Full at them, driven to fury by their stings, Vutthey have thrilled with fiendish joy at it. wee WHOSE? Deacon *Rastus—" Ah heah Brudder Snowball leads a very regular life.” Deacon Ephraim—* Yes, sah. He always goes ter bed wif de chickings.” SO THEY TOLD. Editor—" How did you find out so much about the proceedings of that woman's club?” Reporter— It was a secret meeting they held.” A SURE CURE. Visitor (to state-prison)—* How do you punish your more refractory prisoners—by the dark cell?" Kerrer—"'No: we have a more drastic and effectual corrective than that. We give them health-food for their breakfast Instead of hash.”* NOT THE ONLY PEBBLE. ROBINSON CRUSOE was wandering along the beach. “It's very strange,” he muttered. “I am the only man at this Par ne BIG mer the stencil your'e summer resort, and yet the usual bevy of girls is not after me.” «Mr. Slopay, have you any idea of the size of your ou . Mon Stover (lespaihig phn hale Le Wan ve dient fae tae eights Just then he spied the footprint of ‘Friday and knew that he was In succession that I was a pelican, not the only pebble. TRUE HOME CHARITY. Wire—"' Charity begins at home, you know."* Huseanp—" Then | wish you'd cast your bread upon the waters, Jane."* comicbooks.com