Judge, 1903-08-08 · page 7 of 16
Judge — August 8, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces mocking contemporary social issues: **The main cartoon** satirizes the contrast between city and suburban living. In summer's heat, the urban "sybarite" (comfort-seeker) who mocked suburban life now envies their cooler escape, reversing the social hierarchy. **"Had the Papers"** ridicules women's rights activism. A female Kansas "agitator" seeking lecture permission produces her marriage certificate as vindictive "proof" of authority—sarcastically suggesting marriage is her only legitimate credential. The joke mocks both the protesters attempting censorship and the absurdity of requiring marital status for speaking rights. **"The Fashion Spreads"** critiques the era's tight corsetry. A woman's scattered side pain is diagnosed as a "drop-stitch"—a fashion-induced ailment caused by restrictive garments. The doctor blames current fashion trends for actual physical harm. Other brief jokes address pied type in printing, child poverty, and failed poetry writing—typical period humor targeting workplace mishaps and social conditions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SUBURBUS LAUGHS. N WINTER, with its ice and snow, And chilly blasts that o'er them blow, The city chap, a sybarite, Mocketh the poor suburbanite. But now that August fierce is here, ‘The Senegambia of the year, The city chap has ceased to chaff, ‘And proud Suburbus has the laugh The farmer (in the side- show, looking around in alarm) —* Gosh ! where’s all the rattle- snakes?” The lecturer— Don't be alarmed, my friend. It's only our living skeleton, who is suf- fering from the ague, you hear." HAD THE PAPERS, FEW bold spirits determined to prevent the new lady agitator from Kansas from speaking. “Where is your lecture-license?” they demanded. With a glance of withering scorn, min- gled with triumph, she opened her grip, ex- tracted therefrom a paper, and waved it in their faces. « Here it is!" she shouted vindictively. It was her marriage-certificate. Even then there was one man on the committee of protesters who could not understand why his asso- ciates acknowledged their defeat so readily. He was single. REALLY PIED THIS TIME. 66 JIM," said the editor, «where's that poem about the pied piper of Hamelin that has been on the standing galley for a month? Better hunt it up and run it in the first edition to-night.” “Can't do it, sir,” explains the make-up man.“ One of the galley rats pied it yesterday.” A SAD CASE. “Why do you weep, my boy ?"* Please, sir, me fadder 's drinkin’, an’ me mudder hain’t got a cent in de house, an’ ter- morrer ‘s me birthday, an’ she don't know what we are goin’ ter do about givin’ me a reception.” ‘THE FASHION SPREADS. 64Q)H. DOCTOR!" moaned the suffering young woman, “I have such an excruciating pain in my side.” “Um—yes. What seems to be the nature of the pain ?” asked the physician, “Does it cover the side, or is it confined to one spot ?" “It seems to be scattered all over,” explained the patient ; just as if it were in a hundred little spots all at once.” Ah!" mused the physician. “This corroborates my theory of the influence of current fashions upon the human system. You have what we would colloquially term a drop-sjitch in the side.” a Oe ) = 5) WHAT DID SHE MEAN? Jerrot>—"'I tore up that poem | wrote last week.” Erne.—"Tore it up? Why, that was the cleverest thing you ever did."* comicbooks.com