Judge — August 1, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Z Bh ZZ SE SSS —F LE 5 FS 5 PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ar Tue Pancen Buripivc, Fourrm AVeNUx anp Noverexxtn Staxer, New Yous. Western Apventisinc Orrice—S28 Marquette Building, Chicago, It. One copy, one ¥' One copy, six ‘One copy, for thit FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all fore UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, MS TO SUBSC 4300 aa a ee Tncludiog the Cunistotas Juock countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. EvRorean SaLes-acents—Jatermational News Company, Dream's building, Chancery Lane, B.C, Londow : Brentans's, Avenue de l' Opera, Paris: Saarbach's News Exchange, Mainz, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and digoroasly prosecuted, CONTRIBUTORS must incose a stamped and self-addressed ertoelope with all manuscripts, otherwise retum of the Latter when found unsvailaNe cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contribations sent to the Art Department should hurve the sender's full name and address ‘written plainly on each and every separate sketch. The tng joke or descriptive letterpress should in every instance be written upon tts indroldaal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper, Inclosare of stamps to the full amount of postage is also required, 10 insure safe and prompt retum of material not accepted, BICATTERED HITS and bunched errors lose more games off than on the baseball diamond. eee GELF-POSSESSION is at least nine points of the law of getting there with both feet. MICROBES are so universal that the boiling process often improves even the milk of human kindness. ee THE COMMERCIAL STATIONERY that is high-priced, gilt-edged and redolent of Araby the blest is the silent bluff that often out- trumpets the trumpet of honest worth. THE FOREIGN NOBLEMAN evidently regards the American heiress not only as the divinity that shapes his ends, but as the divinity that enables him to make his financial ends meet. THE MOUNTAIN that is reported to be dropping out of sight in Cali- fornia must feel like a molehill at being eclipsed by Mr. Cleveland, the mountain that is slowly dropping out of sight in all the states simultane- ously. eee HE SUBTLE, far-seeing critic, recognizing the sameness of formula in the fishing and in the campaign lie, uses the fact as a basis of argu- ment to make it clear that the average statesman is a disciple of Izaak ‘Walton without actually knowing the reason why. eee GIR THOMAS LIPTON has declared that he will devote his time largely to building Shamrocks, and will not s* »p until he has lifted the coveted cup. That this is a good resolution, from both a business and a sports- man’s point of view, there is no gainsaying, and it is to be hoped that the tea king may live and prosper until he has taken back to England the flagon which the America won in English waters and brought to this coun- try as long ago as 1851. This would be a good thing alike for yacht- builders and for yachtsmen, and would also make the genial baronet sure of reaching an age equal to that of the patriarchs of the bible. It would also put a perpetual damper on the ancient adage that whom the gods love die young, and cause all Sir Thomas’s friends to hurl their hats in the air and shout his praises to the echo, even as they do whenever he puts in an appearance on land or water. It would also mean that there will sooner or later be more Shamrocks bobbing about on the sea than on the snake less Irish soil. eee AS WE PRACTICALLY live in an age of graft, it is not to be wondered at that this art or science, or whatever it may be correctly called, should have found its way into politics; for almost every office-holder, although there are office-holders and office-holders, is more or less of an adept in this branch of politics which, in the majority of cases, makes office-holding but the means to an end, which end is the corralling of any- thing and everything within reach. The grafting politician has the spirit of the Niagara hackman, multiplied by ten. Whatever he touches turns into personal property, and he is always feeling for more. He absorbs any thing and everything that may be converted into gold, even as a cobra absorbs rabbits. Mr. Roosevelt understands and appreciates all these facts, and it is but fair to say that, in his investigation, his hands are full of what may be called the endless chain of graft, forged by all sorts and conditions of grafters. It is to be hoped that the task of bringing these offenders to book may not be as endless as is the chain itself. That Mr. Roosevelt is the Perseus of chain-breakers must go without saying; and it is, therefore, only fair to assume that he will break the chain if it be breakable. We wish him luck in his undertaking—which is rather a large one—and trust that he may so meet and dispose of these wrongs and their authors that in avery short time the bright lexicon of the office-holder will include no such word as graft, a byword which would shine on the conscience of the aver- age official, if that dignitary had but such a thing on the inside of his anatomy. ta IN THE SAME CLASS Bap uan—“' Have you killed your man?” Crotty Gorrox—'* Aw, no. Me chauffeur attends to all that, ye know.”” comicbooks.com