Judge — August 1, 1903 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

[don't know what we're goin’ to do about them two leadin’ citizens,” said Bronco Bob. “They're lookin’ fur one another with six-shooters from mornin’ till night.” « Has an insult passed 2” “No, it wasn’t any insult; but some doubt ariz as to which was the oldest inhabitant, an’ they're both determined to settle the question fur good an’ all."— Washington Star. Our sales are cnormous and continually on the increase: Cook's Imperial Extra Dry Champagne. It is the best on the market. “ Are you troubled with cockroaches or | other insects about your premises, ma'- am ?" inquired the man with the ‘pack, who had succeeded in gaining an audience with the mistress of the mansion, “No, sir!" she said, glaring at him, “We are NOT troubled’ by cockroaches or other insects !" “Don't mind ‘em, hey?” he rejoined |" cheerfully, shouldering his pack again. “Well, there's nothing like getting used to one’s afflictions. Good-day, ma‘ai —Chicago Tribune. THE NEXT TIME YOU FEEL TIRED try an Angostura Phosphate, made from Dr. Sie- gert’s Angostura Bitters. At all soda-fountains. “ How does your nephew like it out in Kansas 2" “He likes it well enough, I guess. He writes me that he’s going to stay there. He's got both a tornado-cave and a flood- tower on his farm."—Chicago Tribune, Miss Brightlie—“ Oh, Mr. Search, there’s a young lady here to-night I know you will like.” Mr. Search— | feel extremely flattered to find that you have made such a close study of my tastes. Please describe her.” Miss Brightlie—" She's worth a mil- lion."—New York Weekly. VACATION MEM. Don't Forget Packers Tar Soap Pure as the Pines Quickly relieves irritated skin. Cleansing, soothing, cooling and refreshing. A luxury to use. The Packer Mfg, Highest GradeHavanaCigars Manuel Lopez @ Co., 0-11 Thames St. = New York 39-37 Randolph St. - Chicago, 11. EASY MONEY ‘Address Chas. Johnson, For Barbers, Cigaz or Newsdealers, and maibie hustlers .B. 897, Chicago NAVALACRITY, The captain casually inquired If so and so had yet transpired, | And whether, too, beyond a doubt, His programme had been carried out. The first lieutenant raised his head— “I gave the order, sir,” he said ; Denoting he had done his share In that as yet undone affair. The officer who paced the deck Sweet meditations seemed to check— “1 gave the order,” was his claim ; “The boatswain’ must have been to blame.” The boats'n, sore with wounded pride, Forthwith resentfully replied, “ [passed the word—that boats'n's mate Ain't worth his salt—he's always late.” The boats'n's mate looked much abused To be so wrongfully accused ; “ L passed the word,” he answered quick ; «That coxswain must have gotten sick.” The coxswain, looking daggers at The other, roughly touched his hat And said, I passed it—sure | am— Them boys ain't worth a tinker’s damn !" The stroke oar said he «told the bow To tell the others—anyhow "; The others took a higher ground And swore they “hadn't heard a sound !" And so it happened, plain as day, When every one had had his say, That all were like in zeal intense And each had shown his innocence. The captain let his blessings fall Impartially on one and all. And mingled with his strong conviction A sulphureted benediction ! The moral of this endless chain Is instantancously plain— Just give the order—look astute— Then nothing more—don't execute ! Don't budge or stir—don't turn a hand To get the gig or whaleboat manned ; Be firm and zealously avo “T gave the order, anyhow ! —Army and Navy Register. A health giver and a health preserver: Ab bott’s, the Original Angostura Bitters. At druggists’. Father—"Well, how did you come out in the bean-guessing contest ?” Dull boy—"1 guessed there was one- hundred and fifty beans in the jar, and there was nine thousand two hundred.” Father _(sadly)—*I'm_ afraid. you'll never be fit for anything but a weather- bureau chief."— Youth. Have you tried the “Ale Cure” for that fagged- out feeling? EVANS’ ALE Is the open door to the strenuous life and its attainments. ‘Const nearest dealer. \ECZEMA CURED FOR $10.00 LEGAL GUARANTEE ‘WRITE Fo! From East to West Absolutely the finest tobacco grown in Turkey le up in the Egyptian manner in Esyptian DEITIES. No better Turkish clgarette cen bo Took Yor the signature of & ANANGYHOS q Harry— Blanche says she has insuper-| able reasons for remaining single. Horace—* Yes, 1 know what they are Harry— Then she has told you 2” Horace—" No; but I have seen her.” —Boston Transcript. Jenkins—» Then you mean to tell me I have told a lie Chambers—* Well, no ; 1 don't wish to be quite so rude as that.’ But I will say this—you'd make a very good weather- prophet."—Chicago Journal. WILLIAMS 2%" atl COLLEGE STUDENTS are pretty good judges of «what's what,” and usually manage to have about the best of everything, The fact p that nine out of ten use Wil- liams’ Shaving Soap, is convinc- ing evidence of its superiority. Sold in Sbaving Sticks ond Sbaving Tablets throug bout the werld. THE J. B. WILLIAMS CO., Glastonbury, Conn.” toxoon tir a OO ere TICULARS AL-KI CHEMICAL T. PAUL, MINN. 20-Hour Train to Chicago 2°, SENTY RY New York Central and Lake Shore comicbooks.com