Judge — July 18, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sidge. PUBLISUED WEEKLY _ AT THE PARKER BUILDING, YOUNTU AVE, AND NINETKRNTH 8T., iemw ronK. ‘Wasraan Avvaxtisinc Ornice—$28 Mar quette Building, Ohicage, I Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN AOVANCE, One copy, one year or sznumbers= = 7 tt One copy, sx months, or sonumbers = = = One copy, for thirteen weeks se Tnclading the Crmstatas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. EUROPEAN SALES-ActNTS—/ntermational news company, Bream's building, Chancery lane, C, ‘London. ‘avenue del Opera, Paris; Saarbach's news exchange, Mains, in both the United States and Great Britale. CONTRIBUTORS otherwise ret DRAWINGS d address written plaialy on each and every separate ztctch. The accompanying joke of pe its indivic picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamps fo the full amouat of postage is also required of material not accepted. a HE STRAW in the goblet is the one that breaks the temperance camel’s back. 'HE BRIGHT LEXICON of the hustler would be still brighter if it only contained such a word as “ enough.” THIS IS the soaking, sizzling time of the year at which the fat man is perfectly fitted and happy in a skeleton suit of clothes. eee TO THE PATRIOT and lover of good govern- ment a thought of 1904 in which Roosevelt does not figure is like a straw without a julep. eee CORRESPONDENT who may or may not know what he is talking about aptly remarks that the highly popular and the highly unpopular road vehicle should be known as the juggernauto- mobile. eee THE EPICURE, while eating the fried clam, is very apt to experience a high-wate lated joy that the said clam never experienced in the flesh—or, rather, in the shell—at any stage of the tide. THE SUMMER WEATHER is apt to be so cold and clammy at times that the up-to-date preacher may soon have to practice the art of re- versing and varying his meteorological prayers to suit weather conditions, and also to fill with joy the hearts of the merry farmers, whether they want wet weather, that their corn may properly ripen, or dry weather, that their turkeys may prosper and develop into a ripe and juicy youth. eee ‘THE WORST and most painful form of slavery that exists in a free country is that which is known in this land as the white slavery of the workingmen who cheerfully and loyally bend the knee in homage to the most subtle and malignant of all acknowledged despots—the walking delegate. This red-handed plug-ugly seems to have his subjects under control to such an extent that he can handle them as he pleases. They come and go at his beck and call, and respond to his whistle like so many hunting-dogs. They bow and scrape with fear and trembling before him whom they proclaim and acknowledge to be their guide and master. And yet they marvel at their ‘condition, and seem to glory in their fate. If they did not they would refuse to listen.to his commands to stop work and leave the factory, but would consider their own welfare and the future of those depending upon them for their daily bread, and continue to exe- <cute the hammer-solo that means golcondas of the pie of the realm and all the prosperity that the term implies. It is to be hoped that the laboring “men will waken from the industrial nightmare in which they are now groping and stumbling, and kick and smash and granulate the idol before whom they are now sprawling in the dust with a worshipful enthusiasm worthy of a better cause. Ss & THE DEMOCRATIC P/RTY is now busily engaged in taking stock, in a wild desire to ascertain if it has or has not an available can- didate for a successful run. The various champions of free trade, an- archy, and other Democratic ideals are now being weighed and sifted and patched up to see if it is possible to find or build up an Elijah out of a Jonah. Their defects are being covered and gilded until cne with a lively appreciation of the ridiculous cannot help thinking of the backwoods agriculturist frescoing and decorating a worthless equine for the open mar- ket. On the scales of public sentiment the Princeton Nimrod weighs much less than on those of commerce. In fact, his weight on the former scales would give one the impression that he is agile, sylph-like, and of the fly- away order. David Peanut Hill is also an all-round lobster of disappoint- ment to thinkers who have a fair appreciation of that which constitutes value in a continuous political candidate. No matter how he is weighed in the balance, he is always found wanting that which does not come within the radius of his reach. In fact, the Democratic party has about as hopeless and unreliable a stable of runners as can well be imagined. They are all due, and many of them long overdue, for the boneyard of political hope. They are without a future, and a number of them are playing off alive with more success than does the opossum when he plays off dead. Who will be the standard-bearer of this badly-wrecked aggregation of hangers-on and grafters is the question that now interests the country to a much greater extent than do the forecasts of how hollow and empty will be his chances of success. He will make a great noise, and be money in the pocket of the banner portrait-painter, as well as in that of the man who bets against him, A BLESSING. Casey—" Th’ Digger Indians are so unintellectool thot they can’t count above t'r Cassioy—"' Well, thot's some consolation if they hov a lar-rge family av children comicbooks.com