Judge, 1903-07-11 · page 10 of 16
Judge — July 11, 1903 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical jokes and cartoons typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Lighting Out"** is a humorous poem about packing for vacation, mocking tourists who overstuff their trunks with unnecessary items. **"His Training"** jokes that a minister's clear voice comes from his previous job calling train departures—mocking both clergy and railroad workers. **"With the Accent on the Saw"** plays on a vagrant's dialect, suggesting what matters isn't what he *heard* about food availability but what he can *saw* (steal/obtain). **"No Race-Suicide in Jersey"** satirizes a train candy vendor's claim that babies are cheap ("ten cents a box"), mocking both aggressive salesmanship and concerns about declining birth rates among certain populations. **"A New Disease"** lampoons the "soda-fountain walk"—a hurried gait young men adopted while chasing girls past drugstores without money. **"The Difference"** contrasts Turkish divorce customs with American marriage, suggesting an American husband attempting similar tactics would face murder charges from his wife. **"Technically Schooled"** jokes that a former buffalo-skinner became a land agent still "skinning" (swindling) settlers instead.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ai | LIGHTING OUT. vaseline and ink In the trunk together sink h the shirts and knickerbocks, h the dancing-pumps and stocks, fh the mucilage and hats, th the golf.sticks and cravats— What a lot of blooming junk Gets into the tourist trunk ! Packing up is now the ery For the mountain cool and high And the ever-rolling sea, Where the soldier-crab in glee Throws a somersault and sings While the gull above him wings, “What a lot of blooming junk Gets into the tourist trunk !" Pack 2, then, until it's full, ‘Then the ropes around it pull While you chant of all within— Silver spoon and horseshoe pin, Walking-stick and silken rug, pnis-ball and joyful jug-— that a lot of blooming juak Gets into the tourist trunk ! HIS TRAINING. Mrs. de Styles—" What a clear, strong voice your minister has!" Mr. Dunnit—» Yes; he used to call out the departure of the trains in a railroad-station.” WITH THE ACCENT ON THE SAW. ‘Tattereo Tom—'* | heard dat | could git somethin’ ter eat here, lady.” ce Mrs. Quicxcy—"' Well, that'll depend a heap more on what you saw than on what you heard.” NO RACESUICIDE IN JERSEY. UDGING from the reiterated statement of the man who furnishes reading-matter and sweets to passengers on a Jersey suburban train, children are thicker than mosquitoes in that state. “Don't forget the babies to-night !" he cries as he goes through the train. “ They're only ten cents a box!" And he doesn’t even add how many there are in a box. A NEW DISEASE, ‘4 LLEAR about the new disease called the soda- fountain walk ?” asks the up-to-date person. “No. What's it like ?” THE DIFFERENCE. “Oh, it’s the peculiar, hurried step, with the Mrs. Jones—"' When a Turkish husband wants a divorce all he has todo Is to say ‘Idivorce head turned toward the street, that a man ac- you" three times and he ts divorced."” quires while trying to rush the girls past drug- Mr. Jones—**Huh! If an American husband tried that he wouldn't want a divorce, but an f undertaker.”" stores when he is broke.” TECHNICALLY SCHOOLED. First otp-timer—" How did Kid Jim ever come to go in the land-agent business? When | knowed him he was a buffalo-skinner.”* Second ovp-rimer—" Same business yit—only he's skinnin’ new settlers now instead of buffaloes."* comicbooks.com