Judge, 1903-07-04 · page 4 of 16
Judge — July 4, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces and illustrations typical of Judge's humor: **"Easy Lesson for the Little Ones"** uses a cannon accident to teach children that unintelligent people lack common sense—the man's brains weren't "blown out" because he had none to begin with. **"Judge's Favorites"** is a poem mocking patriotic sentiment, suggesting blind nationalism isn't worth emulating. **"Would Suit Him"** satirizes a politician's vague patriotic rhetoric about "one country, one flag," suggesting such empty phrases appeal to those lacking substance. **"Couldn't Speak for Himself"** appears to involve characters named John Alden and Priscilla (historical/literary references), with humor about speaking for others and firecracker pranks. The various cartoons and jokes reflect Judge's typical approach: social satire through wordplay, ironic commentary on patriotism, and lighthearted domestic humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE'S FAVORITES. HELENA PREDERICK. Few mortals seem to know just why You are a star so bright and high In the great histrionic sky. But let them just one ticket buy And for a front seat quickly fly, And then they'll know the reason why. WOULD SUIT HIM. oa | TELL you,” said the patriotic citizen, “there is no nobler sentiment for the natal day of the nation than that sublime phrase, ‘One country and one flag." “It is fine,” agreed the timid citi ~ zen. “Fine? Why, man, it can't be improved upon.” «“T think,” ventured the timid man; “I think perhaps it would appeal to me more if it were ‘One country, one flag, and one fire-crack- er.” ssBINBY'S wife can converse in five languages.” “Yes; and can't keep still in any one of them.” EASY LESSON FOR THE LITTLE ONES, EE the man. Is the man looking into the cannon? Yes, the man is look- ing into the cannon. Why does he gaze so intently into the muz- zle? He wishes to see why it does not go off. Oh, goodness! the cannon has been dis- charged. Look, look! The man is unhurt. But did not the dis- charge of the cannon blow out his brains? No, indeed, child. If the man had had any brains he would not have rubbered down the mouth of the gun. Thus we learn that Nature is a wise guy. A NATURAL QUERY. THE little group on the piazza of the summer A SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCE. Here is a cannon-cracker grand: His head has been enlarged. For his conceit. | understand, He is to be discharged. hotel was watching the fireworks and lis- tening with much interest to the statements of the man who was dilating upon his record. “All that I have,” he proclaimed, “I owe to my wife, who “Great Scott, Jim !" broke in a friend, “have you spent that twenty I lent you this morning already ?" COULDN'T SPEAK FOR HIMSELF. OHN ALDEN and Priscilla stood watch- ing the modest display of fireworks. “Why don't you speak for yourself, John ?" Priscilla asked when he made some generous reference to Miles Standish. “I—some way I can't, Priscilla," he explained bashfully ; « but I'll tell you what I'l do.” Here he took some fire-crackers from his pocket. * I'll let these pop for me.” ** So she ts trying to induce you to join the church? Well, that looks as if she intended to accept you." “LT have my doubts. She never asked me to join the church till | told her | should die if | didn’t get her.” comicbooks.com