Judge — July 4, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT THE PARKER BUILDING, Wastexn Apvaxtising quette Building, Chica Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, of 53 numbers - ce gna One copy for chinese wees TET including the Cusistuas Junce- FORFIGN SUPSCRLPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $4.00 a year. EUWOrEAM SALES-AGiDNTS— International mews company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC, London, Brentandt, avenue de Opera, Paris; Sarbach's mews exchange, Mains, Germany. yatents of JUDGE are protected by ¢: at of this copyright will be pre CONTRIBUTORS must Maclose a stamps righ! ia both the United States and Great Britais. HERE there is so much smoke there is sure to be some fire-crackers. ON THE ever-glorious fourth of July the big guns of oratory refuse to be spiked. eee MANY A MAN, like the torpedo, consists entirely in harmless, empty, reverberat- ing noise. eee IN THE bright, sizzling lexicon of fireworks there will never be such a thing 7s a horse- less Washington. 'HE CAT-TAIL does not lose an iota of artistic distinction through the fact that it makes first-class punk. It fills quite as long-felt a want in the hands of the small boy as on the walls of the atelier. MAsy A MAN goes up like the rocket and comes down like the stick, and many another does not succeed in doing the going-up end of the act. wee THE FIRE-INSURANCE COMPANIES do not lose any sleep or peace of mind over the mental pyrotechnics set off from one end of the country to the other by the political orators in their fourth-of-July efforts. FOR THE BENEFIT of the reckless and uninsured, the phonograph- makers should manufacture records which would reproduce the boom- ing of cannon and the sharply-accentuated potpourri of an exploding package of fire-crackers on the caudal appendage of the ether-cleaving bow-wow. eee THE FOURTH OF JULY seems to be a day set apart quite as much for the benefit of the walking delegate as to enable the American to celebrate the anniversary that commemorates the independence of his coun- try. On this day the walking delegate sets off the giant fire-cracker of some fancied wrong, and does it in such a way that the benighted laboring man considers it the proper music to wake his finest and fondest jig. The capitalist and consumer swing their arms and wring their hands in an anguish that is never equaled in melodrama, and protest vehemently and with feeling against the arch-fiend whose mission it is to disseminate and breed discord in the ranks of the bread-winning contingent. If he could himself but be set off and exploded and scattered on the Fourth it would add a new lustre to the day, as it would cause the good citizen. to realize that the country had been set free a second time in being emancipated from the worst social cutthroat with whom it has ever had to contend. O ONE is better aware of the fact that there are many human stum- bling-blocks between Mr. Cleveland and the Democratic nomination than is the Princeton philosopher himself. It must puzzle even as great a political problem-solver as he is known to be to devise a means of clearing his path of these cameo and intaglio cobblestones. As he scans the way before him and realizes the many rivals whose features light his vision like so many full moons he cannot sing, with gentle Elia, * Where are they gone, the old familiar faces?” Through Mr. Cleveland’s dreams, whether he has dined a la Lucullus on lobster, or a la Dennett on crackers and milk, the picturesque heads of Bryan, Whitney, Olney, Gumshoe Bill Stone, and dear old Uncle David bob serenely about and refuse to stop bobbing. Fate stands in his dream like a juggler, and keeps these heads popping up into the air like so many ripe, rosy apples. Their fantastic grins and grimaces mar the chaste beauty of Mr. Cleveland’s repose, and it is quite likely that the Princeton whirlwind of rosy rotundity would like to be the aforesaid juggler just long enough to enable him to completely clear the track and show an unsuspecting public what he can do in the way of political iconoclasm when he is on the rampage. HIS FAILING. Sue—‘' Your horse seems strongly prejudiced against automobiles.”’ He—" Yes; he's nearly as bad that way as a chap who doesn't own one-! oe. comicbooks.com