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Judge, 1903-07-04 · page 12 of 16

Judge — July 4, 1903 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Judge — July 4, 1903 — page 12: Judge, 1903-07-04

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertisements and light humor** rather than political satire. The main content includes: **"How She Got Ready"** (center): A humorous poem about a wife's excessive vanity, stopping repeatedly to admire herself in mirrors before going out with her husband. The joke satirizes women's obsession with appearance—she checks mirrors on multiple floors, adjusts her hat and dress repeatedly, and even pauses at a hat-rack mirror before finally declaring herself ready. The husband's frustration (waiting a week, nearly fainting) is played for domestic comedy. **Advertisements** dominate the page: Chartreuse liqueur, Pears' soap, morphine treatments, Wilson Whiskey, Savage rifles, and paper warehouse services—typical for early 1900s Judge magazine. **Small humor pieces** include brief jokes about education, fashion, and courtship from various newspapers (Atlanta Constitution, Philadelphia Ledger). The overall tone reflects period attitudes about gender roles, portraying female vanity as humorous rather than offensive by modern standards.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Delicious Digestive a THE HIGHEST GRADE CORDIAL. A GLASS AFTER DINNER IS A WONDERFUL AID TO DIGESTION At Grut-ciass Wine Merchants, Grocers, Hotels Bitjer & Co., 45 Broadway, New York, N. Y., ‘Sole ‘Agents for United States. Arerverenenereernene egy Economical soap is one that a touch of cleanses. Get Pears’ for economy and cleanliness. Sold all over the world. aed LIQUOR HABITS CURED ‘Thousands having failed else- MORPHINE 2c ‘Write The Dr. J. L. Stephens Co., Dept. 12, Lebanon, HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Fo 2,24 and 98 Weocher Strest Branch Warehouse, 20 Beekman Street, New York pobipmeipesshenpspenyni ioe “Is yo" boy gwine ter college ?” “No; but I done give him education enough ter count lak a white in election time !"—Af/anta Constitution. May—*1 don't like the fit of this gown at all. Iwonder howl could improve it?” Fay—"Let some other girl wear it, dear."—Philadelphia Ledger. ROMEIKE’S = Toe Fat, Pareraper eppear about Jom, your tanta, Every newspepe Ce Bese emt HOW SHE GOT READY. She'd dressed up to go out with him, “Twas on the topmost floor; Before the mirror she had posed ‘A weary hour or more. At last she started down the stairs, | And he was glad, but then, She tarried on the second floor E |” To see herself again. | Before another mirror there She turned and turned and turned, And took her time and primped as though She only was concerned. She patted bows and touched up tucks And felt her fluffy hair, | And rearranged her new « flat” hat, With undiminished care. And then she gathered up her skirts And fixed them in her hand, Coquettishly looked back once more Into the mirror, and— Went down another flight of stairs To the reception-room, Where he was huddled, like a chunk Of rainbow-colored gloom. He smiled, as any husband should, But managed not to speak, | And it was well ; for he He'd waited there a week. He rose to go, but she advanced Upon the large pier glass, And back and forth in front of it Began to pass and pass. sure = | She started with her hat and hair And gradually worked down, Inspecting things until she reached The bottom of her gown. She caught her skirts again and looked To see how she'd appear, And, evidently satisfied, She said, “I'm ready, dear.” He heaved a sigh (but made it soft) And headed tor the street, But hearing not the footfalls of Her Louis XIV. feet, He turned—he staggered and he fell Against the nearest wall !— She was gazing in the mirror in The hat-rack in the hall! —Baltimore American. Steady nerves and a clear, active brain come from the use of Abbott's, the Original Angos- | tura Bitters. The old bachelor who consoles himself with the thought that there are as good fish in the sea as have ever been caught seems to lose sight of the fact that bait st | gets stale.—Philadelphia Record. ‘Toselect a fire-arm at haphazard may spoil the pleasure of your hunt. Cer- tain rifle loads are designed purely for a given purpose, and a particular cartridge that is excellent for target work may be useless as a hunting load. | Savage HammerlessRifles are made in all the desirable standard sizes, and will give the hardest sort of accurate service. Write us, we may be of assistance in your selection. Our new catalogue (No. 11) is full of interest to sportsmen. Mailed on requst. SAVPGE ARMS COMPARY, UTICA, H.Y., U.S.A. daker & Hamilton, Pacis Coast Agents, San Fran- ‘cisco and Sacramento, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO. Baltimore, Md. HOW IT HAPPENED. Burexer— Say, old chap, that cigar you gave me yesterday was a dandy,” Baxter—"' How careless of me!" The WHITE ROCK high-ball has a smack of its own comicbooks.com,