Judge, 1903-06-27 · page 9 of 21
Judge — June 27, 1903 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century American social pretensions and gender roles: **"Simple Mediocrity"** jokes about marrying someone mediocre—neither bad enough to "reform" nor good enough to be desirable. **"Astronomical"** is a pun: a dog-star asks about "heat"; a bear responds with "Sirius" (the Dog Star), playing on the scientific term. **"Woman"** ridicules women's contradictory beauty routines—spending summer tanning via tennis/golf, then winter buying products to remove it. **"Qualified"** satirizes newly-rich social climbers. A summer boarder snobs Mrs. Madoogus about her son lacking "four hundred" (elite society) credentials. She misunderstands "training" as driving a car (buying one resulted in $100+ in speeding fines), believing this qualifies one for high society—mocking both her ignorance and the arbitrary nature of class standards. **"The Ancient Masher"** (bottom strip) depicts an older man flirting with women, an old social type. The overall theme: American society's shallow materialism and confused values.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SIMPLE MEDIOCRITY. “Why did she marry him?" “give it up. He wasn't bad enough to need reforming nor good enough to make a desirable husband."” ASTRONOMICAL, 46] CAUSE the heat,” the dog-star said, In manner mast mysterious. ‘The little bear then raised his head And murmured, ‘Is he Sirius?” WOMAN, ALL summer she is cultivating tan At tennis games and golf; All winter long she buys all sorts of things To try to get it off. QUALIFIED. ssn. Mrs. Madoogus,” said the summer boarder kindly, “Iam sor- ry I have to say that I hard- ly think your son would be admitted into the four hun- dred. Of course it is com- mendable in you to have such ambition for him, but you know he really lacks the training and all that.” * Lacks training, ch?” asked Mrs. Madoogus. “Why, I bought him one o” them autoniobulls last sum- mer, an’ he's paid out over a hundred dollars in fines fer runnin’ the thing too fast. As far as I can see, that’s all a pusson needs to git into society, isn’t it?” +6 YO." said the wife, « we can't go to the Ga- loophus hotel for the sum- mer, dear. That place is too cheap. We couldn't af- ford to be seen there. My preference would be the Giltopp hotel.” “No; we couldn't af- * ford to be seen there for one day,” asserted the husband. “It is too expensive. —my moon— —my stars! Wow!" THE ANCIENT MASHER. comicbooks.com