Judge, 1903-06-20 · page 3 of 16
Judge — June 20, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: 1. **"Wisdom of the Ancients"** (top): A story mocking scholarly pretension. A philosopher discovers hieroglyphic symbols in an Egyptian obelisk and confidently interprets them as profound wisdom, only to learn they're meaningless markings that skeptics doubt have any significance. 2. **"His Faith"** (middle): A domestic joke about a husband's blind faith in his wife's cooking abilities, despite her obvious incompetence. 3. **"Missed a Fine Picture"** (bottom): A cartoon where a woman expresses regret about leaving her camera at home while witnessing a dramatic maritime rescue scene. These pieces target intellectual pomposity, marital dynamics, and everyday modern anxieties—common Judge magazine themes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
(Nore—In the old Roman days Diogenes, a philosopher, searched with a lantern for an honest man, but failed to find one.) WISDOM OF THE s 3 ~ eee *Oh, son of the ANCIENTS, 2 moon and papa of the PTUTHLEsS ME- : sun,” replied Ptuth- NOCASSUS, the less Menocassus, Egyptian sculptor, “canst the slave of having been commis- thy slave tell thee? sioned to ornament Verily, the signs and the obelisk of Pharaoh symbols mean noth- Thothmes IL, set ing to us. I did but about his task with carve them there, that the enthusiasm of one the wise men who will who is wedded to his live in five or six thou- art. In the course of sand years may have a few weeks he had some fun deciphering covered the top half them." : of the shaft with a So saying, he choice collection of went up the ladder hieroglyphics and and madea figure of a other markings. chicken swallowing a hippopotamus, which, all unknown to him, meant that some man would some day write a series of magazine articles. One morning old Thothmes was saun- tering through the city and happened to come to the obelisk. With some pride he walked about it and deciphered the in- ‘ “ OMINOUS. scriptions which re- ; Ted —"What ferred to him as a makes you think this marvel of wisdom, isn’t as swell a place benevolence and as you thought ?" statecraft. “That's all very good,” he remarked to Ptuthless Menocas- sus, who, chisel in : 4 HIS FAITH. hand, had! descended ‘Sue—" Since you chose this spot, you evidently have no faith in signs."* HARDLY, EIRELY: from his scaffolding He—" On the contrary, | have an absolutely blind faith in them.”* Mr, Monkey (as to hear what his mon- little Willie Monkey's arch might have to say; © that's all very well. But I observe several bedtime approaches)—" Welt, I wish I was a porcupine.” square yards of signs and symbols which are not recorded in any of Mrs. Monkey—" You brute! Why ? my books. Indeed, I doubt if they stand for anything. What do they mean ?" Ned-—" The wait- er hasn't kept us wait- ing more than twenty minutes,” Mr, Monkey—" A little porcupine doesn’t nag his papa to carry him to bed on his back.” MISSED A FINE PICTURE. He—“‘ Look, look! | think that man out in the breakers is drowning!"" ‘Sue—"* Oh, heavens! and | have left my camera at home!"