Judge, 1903-06-13 · page 3 of 16
Judge — June 13, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical style, rather than a single political cartoon. **"The Vegetable Lottery"** mocks an officer arresting someone for gambling, with the twist that the "game of chance" involves vegetables—satirizing selective law enforcement. **"Her Status"** is a brief ethnic joke playing on dialect humor common to the era. **"A New Fad"** jokes about accidental injuries becoming fashionable, with dark humor about losing fingers. **"The Finishing Touch"** depicts a domestic scene where a wife discusses estate matters while her husband faces death—satirizing legal/financial anxieties. The bottom illustration, "Speaking of Fools," shows rural characters and appears to be a general humor sketch about rural life and foolishness. The content reflects early 20th-century American satirical humor: class anxieties, immigrant stereotypes, and domestic/legal concerns.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘THE VEGETABLE LOTTERY. SOWVAY, officer!” protests the man, “ what do you mean by arresting this person? I know him well, and he is one of our best, most trustworthy, cit- izens.” 2 “IT don’t care who he is," answers the officer. “ My instructions are to ar- rest every one I see gam- bling, and I caught him in the act.” “Impossible! I am morally sure he never took part in a game of chance in his life.” “That's where you're off. I just caught him buying cantaloupes.”” HER STATUS. Skinny Shaw- han—*"Who's dat lady over dere 2” Mickey O'Tuff— “Dat ain't no lady; dat's me mudder.” A NEW FAD. NATURALLY, we exhibit consider- able sympathy when we see that one of the victims of the acci- dent has lost several THE FINISHING-TOUCH. WHERE THE WONDER CAME IN. SeTUSH, tush!" we say to the Circassian princess. + Also tut, tut! You think we will be- lieve you when you assert that the armless wonder hugged you?” “But it is so,” she assev- erated, “Nonsense! How could he hug you, being armless ?” « How could he? The fact that he did is what makes him such a wonder.” In the face of such rea- soning we could do nothing but retire, abashed. RETRIBUTION, First’ mosquito —“ The experts are trying to murder us. Second mosquito —Don't fear; we'll soon put them be- hind bars.” HOME ATTRAC- TIONS. s6(QOME and go with me to the 200," suggested Mr. Seezem. + No, thank you,” answered Mr.Gottem. Mrs. Binco—"' Oh, dear! do you think that death ends all?" fingers and that he is Bixco—‘ All but the estate. The lawyers end that."” “TM stay at home, also deaf and dumb. “Poor fellow!" we say. “Isn't it unfortunate? How will he talk now 2" “Oh, it may be all right,” suggests a bystander. “Ten to one, if he is at all ingenious, he will start a deaf-and-dumb-dialect fad.” My oldest daughter does the kangaroo walk, my second daughter talks like a parrot, my son laughs like a hyena, my wife watches me like a hawk, my cook is as cross as a bear, and my mother-in-law says I'm an old gorilla. When I go anywhere I want a change.” SPEAKING OF FOOLS. Jaxe (the hired hand)—"' Thet city boarder ‘s the biggest fool | ever seen. W'y, he don't even know enough tew hitch up a hoss.”* Suas—'t He may not know enough tew hitch up a hoss, Jake, but I notice he kin hitch up clusser tew your best girl in five minutes than yew kin in a hull eventn’."” comicbooks.com