Judge — June 13, 1903 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- YOU can do it just as well Pour over lumps of ice, strain and servo SEVEN KINDS BEWARE OF IMITATIONS G. F. HEUBLEIN @ BRO. HARTFORD NEW YORK LONDON NEW PERIL FOR TIPPLERS. SEEDY man, with an introspective look, long hair, neglected beard, and a certain eccentricity of gait, pushed open the swinging doors of a popular Broadway resort for per- sons with throat trouble and imme- diately sought the confidence of the gentlemanly compounder in charge. “I b'long to the 'mpressionist school of p-painters,"” he remarked hoarsely, and I want something t’ tone me up. My c-colors are all m-mixed wrong, an’ I don’t know what to do. D' you? The expert in mixtures appeared | to give the subject a moment's pro- found thought. In reality he was bringing to bear upon the prospective customer the singular insight into human life in all its phases which is part of every good bar-tender’s pro- fessional equipment. It was his func- tion to determine instantly—by what curious psychological process who can say?—whether the thirsty person con- fronting him was passing rich and eccentric, or in that deleted condition | when it is not the part of good morals or progressive therapeutics to treat the unmistakable symptoms. In this case the bar-tender’s quick penetra- tion told him that, genius or office- holder, here was a human being in distress, worthy of relief. So he said sympathetically, “A little soda with lemon?" An injured look came into the melancholy eyes of the strange being. “When I am _ s-sick,"” he re- marked with dignity I w-will call upon a’p-pothecary. Give me some- thin’ viv-v-id—somethin’ to m-match my own g-glorious imagination. I'm no c-common painter. 'F you could see w-what I see, you'd know w-what I m-mean, Art is long an’ time is f-fleetin’. Wot you got?” Just then the pussy cat of the establishment stalked stealthily among | the array of bottles and ylasses. It seemed to give the visiting artist an inspiration. His face lit up. “Thash w-what I want!" he exclaimed joy- fully. 11 know w-what I mean. Somethin’ with all the c-colors of the r-rainbow. W-hat you call it? P-puss somethin’ or other. No, that A\ jain't it. A p-puss—no, a cajé puss. | Thash it!" The gentlemanly bar - keeper |smiled amiably. Good nature goes with his equipment, too. He can laugh sympathetically when almost | any other sober man would be sick at |the stomach. Like the ancient mari- ner, he has been half-seas over him- self, before adopting his present pro- fession, and the perils of navigation appeal to him. So he held the stranger with his glittering eye, and remarked hypnotically, “We're all out of cats but that one. What you want is a milk punch.” And he proceeded to make one—very weak. The impressionist fell in at once with the idea. But as he slowly sip- ped the punch, a look of horror came into his face and he broke into a cold sweat. “Snakes in the milk!" he cried, letting the glass fall. ‘Take ‘em away!" . Of course the ambulance came; ‘and they bore him off, protesting. Then the barkeeper stooped to mop up the milk. As he did so he paused and gave a low whistle. Microbes!" he exclaimed. ‘That's what the fellow saw, and I don’t won- der. Here, Jim, just call up Bellevue, and tell ‘em it’s a mistake, sure. And then ring up the board of health and ask=them to quarantine that New Jersey cow outfit over in the swamp.” es Teacher—" Oh, yes, Tommy, it you have a dog you are the owner of a quad- ruped, aren't you <Tommy—" No'm.” \ explained to you yester- day that any animal with four legs was a quadruped.” | Tommy—* Yes'm, but Rover lost one of his'n fighting a trolley car."—Catholic Standard and Times. | “Nobody,” said the earnest critic, “can portray the characters of the classic drama without having experienced some great sorrow.” “Do you think,” rejoined Mr. Storm- ington Barnes, “that it is possible to play the classics without experiencing sor- row?"— Washing on Star. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md, SCENTING DANGER FROM AFAR. Uncte ‘Rastus—"* Wondah what makes dem chickens run so? Dar must be a chicken-hawk round.” FISHERMAN'S LUCK often includes a combination of wet tee, hang, 8 Tight creel anda plenstul supply of hard foc! totes. “The lucky "foherman & Uoe one she Provides himself belorehand with the couscling Eompanionship of Dewar’s Scotch WHISKY bottled where distilled, from the largest re re stock of old Scotch Whisky in the world. AN ANGLER'S POSTE: + Fisherman's Luck (copyright, 1903, by Fret erick Glassup), isthe orginal drawing by. EN Blue, shown herewith, “It is. printed. in four colors on heavy plate paper, 9x13, withou tertisement of any binds Sentto any address ‘receipt of 10 cents in silver. Suitable for framing in clubbouse or home. Next month "In Camp, by Dan Smith FREDERICK 12€ Bleecker St. PUBLISHERS, PRINTERS AND LITHOGRAPHERS Desiring paper of superior excellence and uniformity can secure it of the makers of the papers used in the various publications of THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY. comicbooks.com