Judge, 1903-05-23 · page 6 of 18
Judge — May 23, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century American society: **"Cinderella Revised"** updates the fairy tale to mock modern materialism. Cinderella rejects the magical golden carriage as "plebeian," demanding an automobile instead—the height of contemporary luxury. The fairy godmother's refusal to ride in one, citing "self-protection," satirizes both the dangers of early automobiles and the absurdity of the wealthy embracing dangerous new technology. **"Paradoxical"** jokes about an aunt institutionalized yet unable to stop talking—a commentary on female chattiness. **"Brotherly Influence"** depicts a young man encouraging his sister to accept a suitor for selfish reasons (wanting to borrow money from him). **"Models of Patience"** cynically jokes that postponing weddings repeatedly suggests similar success with divorces. **"If Slang Were Exact"** puns on the phrase "slip up," showing a man who literally slipped on a new sidewalk. The humor derives from taking colloquial language literally. These pieces reflect period anxieties about automobiles, marriage, materialism, and changing social dynamics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CINDERELLA REVISED. ITH some petulance Cinderella notices that the pumpkin has been transformed | into a golden carriage. + Does it not delight you ?” asks the fairy godmother. “Oh, of course it is very pretty and all that,” concedes Cinderella; + but surely you do not expect me to go to the ball in such plebeian style ?” « Plebeian 2” asks the fairy godmother. “ Why, that's the finest transform- ing act I ever did in all my career.” “Yes; but the automobile is the thing now.” “All right," grumbles the fairy godmother. She gives her wand another sweep, and the golden carriage becomes a huge tonneau, puffing and panting and ready for the spin. “How sweet!" chirps Cinderella. “But are you not going along?” she exclaims as the fairy godmother begins to vanish. “Not much !" declares the fairy godmother. “No automobiles for me. Even a fairy has to adopt some measures of self-protection.” Bate \s vaca att PARADOXICAL. . eYOUR aunt is shut up in an asylum, isn’t she?” “Well, she is and she isn’t. She is in there all right enough, but they can't stop her talking.” Yrs “MODELS OF PATIENCE. Mrs. Gappincton— They have postponed the wedding four times. ‘Mrs. Burrincron—* Well, | hope they'll do | as well with the divorce.”* INDUSTRY. Wiis / AW il weal ha ls boneyabeade | pu <a> ; C\ \\ Thitgec es the fla erica, YH I MAME Minit Wee WY WWE SECRETIVE. | S¢LTUNGRY JOE is pretty close-mouthed, BROTHERLY INFLUENCE. isn't he?” Fanuer Jones's paucwrer—"* No, Mr. Summerboard: | could never learn to love you.” ae : wa Suatt BromHer (from behind the sofa)—" Aw, go ahead an’ love him, Sis! 1 want ter borry a ure. He never lets his right hand quarter uv him."" know whom his left hand is doing.” IF SLANG WERE EXACT. ** Well, Ferdinand, my boy, I hope you like my new sidewalk.”” “Well, gran'pa, the man that mate tt didnt —"slip up’ on it!” comicbooks.com