Judge, 1903-05-16 · page 4 of 16
Judge — May 16, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"Judge's Favorites"** (top left) is a portrait poem celebrating an idealized woman—tall, graceful, fashionable—who embodies aesthetic perfection while remaining modest about her beauty. **"An Episode"** and **"The Real Thing"** (center) present a romantic narrative where a man is struck by a woman's beauty, then disillusioned when she lacks deeper qualities he values—a commentary on the gap between physical attraction and genuine compatibility. **"Too Severe"** (bottom) is a workplace humor strip depicting factory workers ("tramps") discussing a brutal "knocker club" where members are penalized for taking breaks—satirizing harsh industrial labor conditions and worker exploitation of the era. The page blends romantic satire with social commentary on labor practices.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE'S FAVORITES, ADELE RAFTER. Tall and taper, see her skip, Skim and frolic with a zip. She full well, the critic knows, Puts new life into the rose- Dealer on the blooming fly, While the swells who swarm to buy All his roses, fraught with spice, Never murmur at the price. AN EPISODE, HEN he came into the room where she sat he was struck at once by her marvelous beauty. At first she did not observe him, but finally she glanced in his THE REAL THING. direction. He—* What would you call an ideal lover?" ‘There was something about him that caused her ‘Sue—" One whom every other girl wants.” to unbend from her hauteur, She fell quickly into his vein of merry banter, and DID NOT APPEAL TO HIM. when at last he left she rolled her eye at him, ¢¢ QO." SAID the cannibal king ; “I take great pleasure in informing you that I have With that innate courtesy for which our hero was abandoned my former custom of dining on such sailors as should be ship- celebrated, he picked up her glass eye and returned it wrecked on my island, I have lost all liking’ for them.” to her. “ Ah!" mused the missionary.“ The salt has lost its savor.” TOO SEVERE. First rramp—'* Say, Bill, couldn't I get yer ter join our ‘knocker club'?"" Seconp Tramp—" W'ot's de ‘knocker club’? First tramp—" Why, every member swears ter knock off work five minutes after he gits a job."” ‘Secono tramp—" Leave me out! I'd sooner git knocked in de head dan work five minutes.”