Judge — May 16, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THE PARKER BUILDING, FOURTH AVE. AND NINETEENTH ST., NEW YORK. Wasraxn Aoverrising Orrice—S28 Mar- quette Building, Chicago, 1, Eastean Apvextisinc Orrice—27 School ‘Sra, Beston, Sass Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. eee wr ncluding the Cusistias Joon. UBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. EUROPEAN sALks-aGents— International news company, Bream's building, Chancery lane, FE." oadon. brent’, asvnue de FOpera, Paris, Saarbach's mews exchance, Sa, Germany. The contents of JUDGE ar ytight in both the United States aed Great Britals, ntringement of this cop 7 and vigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and sell-addi of the latter when found vnavailable VEN the wildest and most pronounced of anti- Wagnerites will shortly feel to their very mar- row a thrill of melodious joy in the strident slap- 1g clang of the ice-cream bell. IF SOME ONE should start an asylum for people who are blind to their own interests, we will venture to say that no other blind-asy- lum would ever equal it in point of numbers. JUDGING by the printed stuff that is turned out to-day, we should think it would be a good idea for the business college to establish a chair to be known as the chair of commercial literature. eee HE LONG and hoary-headed philosopher who speaks in glowing terms of Gorman’s silence as being so fearfully dignified should re- member that it is also anything but painful to a patient, long-suffering public. [F THERE is any one who understands the wants of the negro better than does Booker T. Washington, we will admit that we do not know his name. Mr. Washington knows also the negro’s shortcomings and just how to meet and remedy them. In his hands the negro will learn to read and write, and also to realize the important fact that the razor is a tonsorial and not an artillery weapon. He will also learn that numerals were not invented to make the game of policy a possibility, and that necro- mancy can play no part in making one acquainted with the name of a turf- winner on the day before the race. Booker T. Washington will certainly cast the fiends of superstition and hoodooism out of the negro in such style that he will be no more afraid of a spook than he now is afraid of a spring- chicken rampant on a moonlit snake-fence or reclining upon the historic toast. Mr. Washington is a level-headed man, as well as one who knows how to handle the negro in such a way as to cause him to see the emptiness of the coon-song and the metrical beauties of the Greek hexameter. In the hands of such a general the average Ethiopian will not look upon the watermelon when it is red if it doesn’t happen to be his, and he will learn that dreams mean nothing but a disordered stomach, and that the left hind foot of a rabbit will not keep off evil or cause fortune to smile on the pes- sessor. We believe as firmly in Mr. Washington and his methods as does Mr. Carnegie, who has recently shown his appreciation by a most munifi- cent gift to the Tuskeegee institute. T IS A SAD THING to hear a refrigerated lament in the balmy spring- time, when the blossoms tremble with joy and the dainty hepatica sur- renders itself to be distilled into a mixture that puts new life and vim into the torpid liver. There are a number of wise old birds who would mate with the nomination, and they are lifting their voices in a lamentation that is richly gargoyled with the icicles of a divine despair. If these Demo- cratic birds have been saving all their musical steam for a rainy day they now have at least the satisfaction of realizing that their efforts at accumu- lation have not been entirely in vain. It is only to be hoped that their music will outlast the storm in which they are all singing the same tune in different time. Messrs. Cleveland, Olney, Gorman, and old Gum-shoe Bill Stone outscreech and make the common calliope of commerce look smaller than a jew’s-harp. As misery loves company, these four are nat- urally very fond of one another, as are Hill, Tom Johnson and others of the grand chorus of Democrats who are also lime-lights unto themselves. The cold, penetrating rain of the outdoor spring-time is drenching them to the bones and discoursing a weird, uncanny refrain on their liver-pads, while their composite squawk of pain is scattered on the dreary winds. If the consensus of opinion is correct, these cold birds will never more be hot birds. They are permanently cold, like the pancake that will not be rejuvenated when once soggy. And their hopes are on ice—not big things on ice, but on ice that they may be refrigerated and preserved against decay, that we may from time to time hear their owners burst into song and thus regale us with a first-class sample of Democratic harmony. A SOFT “SEAT” FOR HIM. Boe—"' Archie has just bought a seat on the stock-exchange.”* Eoiru—" The dear boy! I shall make him two sofa-pillows for it at once.”* comicbooks.com