Judge — May 9, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sudge PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT THE PARKER BUILDING, YOURTH AVE. AND NINETKENTH #T., NEW YORK. Wasraxn Avverrisina Ornice—828 Mar- quctte Building, Chicago, It Bastenn Apvextisinc Orrice—27 Schoo ‘Street, Boston, Mass. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, of s2 numbers = 7 One copy, six mouths, or so numbers = == ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks including the Cunestsas Junce. To al forign contin the postal nin, Ho a Yea RAN SALKS-AGENTS—Intermational mews company, Bream's building, Chance com EC. London. Brentand's, avenue det Opera, Paris: Saarbach's news pont fod Germany. The contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright (a both the cae States and Great Britaia, upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stam} pt retura of waterial not accepted. (—— RYAN, out of the race, —" is quite as much an idle curiosity as is a dime-museum freak out of employment. ORMAN’S political aim would be all right if he could only cause it to establish business relations with the bull’s-eye. BY MERELY purchasing an automobile the happy possess- or of the same most forcibly illustrates the fact that his sense is quite horseless. oe ILL bears about the same relation to genuine old-fashioned, double-dyed-in-the-wool Democracy that a microbe bears to the kiss in which it madly flourishes and has its being. MOVING-DaY is here again, and the bluebirds, as usual, will sing to the accompaniment of the lover of antique art when she wrings her hands and lifts her voice in lamen- tation as she observes the Louis Quinze refrigerator thrust one of its hind- er legs rudely through the «esophagus of the Corot crepuscule. eee THE RAINBOW of prosperity seems to make a specialty of spanning the United States. In fact, it stands like the horseshoe whose mis- sion, freely interpreted, means good fortune—or, if you will, good luck. The tints of this national rainbow are warranted not to fade and run to- gether into a wild hybridization of effects that might destroy the beauty of the color scheme that is now so dazzling to the hawk-eye of the patriot. wore Ba dy * land is a subtle student of affairs and a good duck-hunter. WITHIN THE LAW'S LONG REACH. ya Uncle Sam is doing some eloquent long-range talking with his friend the farmer, and while their jaws wag in harmony with their paint-brush chin- whiskers they both become assured of the fact that the land is going to be swathed and lubricated with golcondas of the eighteen-karat gold that makes the automobile go. An endless-chain system of magnificently bulg- ing crops has practically been commenced, and the groan of the larder will shortly be heard in the land. These facts will make the music of the next Republican campaign, and it will be music that should charm and soothe the savage Democratic breast, even while it times the steps of the present incumbent of the white-house to victory. T IS NOT at all likely that Uncle Sam will ever again look to Grover Cleveland for assistance in running his country. A cat that has been twice burned should not look with favor upon the fire that did the burning. It will therefore be useless for the Princeton philosopher to offer his serv- ices to his ancient relative, for as presidential timber he reeks with dry rot, knot-holes and other defects familiar to the student of forestry and lumber, de it presidential or otherwise. Uncle Sam has had his power of apprecia- tion, not to say discrimination, sharpened by experience, and shaky hem- lock cannot be palmed off on him for the rosewood of the realm. Mr. Cleve- Between these sterling qualities, which lead to victory, he should have no trouble in pro- curing employment suited to his talents and temperament. We fancy that the presidency of some South American republic, run on continuous-revo- lution principles, would be about the thing for the nimble Nimrod of New Jersey, who on his native heath is now about as completely forgotten and out of touch with the times as if he were an ex-vice-president of the country that does not hanker after him to any great or alarming extent. TAKEN AT HIS WORD. Parson Bieepem—" Brother Gotrox, I have called to ask you to subscribe fifty dollars to our missionary fund.’ Brotuer Gorrox- Parson Burevem. Brotuer Gotrox— ‘Well—er—I'll think it over, and ""-—— Does, eh? Well, here's twenty-five dollars quick! Ah, Brother Gotrox, he gives twice who gives quickly, you know.” Twice twenty-five Is fifty, I believe. Glad to accommodate you, Good-day!"" comicbooks.com