Judge, 1903-04-25 · page 7 of 16
Judge — April 25, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **Top comics**: A billiards player predicts an accident, then causes one—mocking overconfidence. **"Nowadays"**: Mocks wealthy philanthropists who build libraries for publicity while ignoring genuine charitable work. The real philanthropist, the poem suggests, is someone who *doesn't* write a book about their generosity. **"A Testimonial"**: Racist dialect humor (common for the era) about an African American woman bragging about her son's "pure blood," only to reveal moths ate his hair—mocking both racist pseudoscience and empty boasting. **"The Tale of the Rabbit"**: Satirizes Darwin's evolution theory by claiming a rabbit's lost tail, wrapped in cotton, evolved into natural cotton traits—absurdist mockery of evolutionary science. **"A Record-Breaker"**: Dark humor about a car accident victim asking if he broke a speed record; the doctor responds with numerous broken bones instead. The page reflects period attitudes: skepticism toward new science, racial prejudice, and class commentary on wealth.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
* JUST AS HE PREDICTED, Binc—** Do you think you can make it?”’ - 4 Bano" If Pdo ttl boo : > ——an accident,’ NOWADAYS. OME think they help humanity And all our sorrows gild When unto each community A library they build. But though upon appearances Munificent they look, He is the true philanthropist Who doesn’t write'a book. MCLANDBURGH WILSON. A TESTIMONIAL. SPAT boy ob mine,” de- clares Aunt Ca’line with much pride, “am puah blood. No mix’ blood in him, I wan’ ter tell yo’. Why, he haid got de genuine wool on hit. Yas, suh. ‘Deed, suh, las’ summah “-<}de moths got in hit an‘ et -hit mos":plum’ nigh offen ‘im.” * My dear husband, the baby has lost her voice."* What are you doing for her?"* “I've just sent for the quack doctor."* A RECORD-BREAKER. ‘THE TALE OF THE RABBIT. ONG since, in prehistoric times, Before the apple-tree, The rabbit had a tail as long As rabbit-tails should be. But wandering forth one winter day, He got into a trap, Which haply missed his head, but clipped His tail off with a snap. He straightway sought a cotton field And wrapped the stump as best He could with cotton from the boll, And Darwin did the rest. WILLIAM J, LAMPTON. BECAUSE a man is what he thinks he is it does not follow that he is what he claims Automositist (faintly, after the accident)—'* Did | break the record ?"* Docror—‘* Yes; you have seventeen breaks and four fractures.” comicbooks.com