Judge, 1903-04-18 · page 16 of 20
Judge — April 18, 1903 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, with the main content being product pitches for Williams' Shaving Soap, Whitman's Chocolates, an Oldsmobile automobile, and travel destinations. The small satirical section titled "Microbes in the Garden" is a humorous poem (from *Punch*) about the Victorian obsession with germ theory—the newly popular scientific understanding that bacteria cause disease. The joke reflects contemporary anxieties: even gardens contain invisible threats. This references the late 19th/early 20th-century "germ panic" that gripped the public as microscopic organisms were discovered. The other brief satirical items are standard *Judge* magazine humor—wordplay about a woman getting too invested in English history (particularly the Wars of the Roses), and a poet's complaint that his portrait keeps following him around. The page's satirical value is minimal; it's essentially a magazine issue showcasing period advertisements alongside light, uncontroversial comedic filler.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MICROBES IN THE GARDEN. “Mary gets so excited when she reads —— ——> ee = Little blossom, is it so? story. ) H sie i ; Does she?” SHAVING|) wee ST er ex: I should say she did. She's been A Pp And from nipping frosts defend you; | Teading English history, but she had to In your buds do microbes lurk, |stop when she got to the wars of the ing there their deadly work? Roses. Doing there their deadly work Shi; aid ane atopt” Do the roses, white and red, “She couldn't tell which Rose she pre: Pine upon a sad sick bed, ferred to have win.""—Cleveland Plain Sox n by the dread bacilli? Dealer, , tall and stately lily, aping scath of loathly worms, 3, bounding step, high Fall to pathogenic germs? P ts, good ‘health syhonymaan: with Ab. bots, the Original Angostura Bitters, intelli- Ah! grim science—that can spy gently ued. Fest it. The bacteria that le In our bread, our cl ‘isses, With an aim that n« Poet—'' Tell me frankly what are your From your threats of dire discase objections to my por Perhaps T can Spare our gardens, if you please. remedy the trouble —Punch, itor (blandly)—"' Perhaps you can— perhaps you can. Well, my main objec- A man who is genere always given|tion is that it keeps coming. Fix that credit for having a big heart, $ and I'll waive the others." —Kan- liver is what merits the prai | sas City Fournal. Louder Than Words. There is no more delightful sensation than that produced by the soft, creamy lather of Williams’ Shaving Soap. Shaving becomes so easy and agreeable that a man cannot help showing his satisfaction. His smile speaks louder than words. 11 tbe form of Sbaving Sticks, Sbavine Tabiets, ete Ul Yilliams’ Shaving Soaps roy, r¢ ) ty THE J.B. witskne Some Gat - : c é he Oldsmobile seas pith Se ne ones The sun never sets on this world standard Runabout—“ The Best Thing on Wheels.” tg strong, simple and practical construction has made it the best known Automobile among all civilized nations of the - 7 | world. Its working mechanism is ns free From complications that no ‘ Are c superintendent | technical training is necessary to understand it. Just a turn of the start- ASPRING AND SUMMER TONIC) (308° and. railroad? ing handle end tee Oldamobile “goes” with “Natklag fo match Oud the Go 10 THE Official_—""Yes, What can 1 do for road.” ‘ yout” | " Price $650.00 Glorious Mountains Stranger—"I would like a pass for my- Ths oldemodte i theca af necuty fn pratt —iade of material of or |s cd a the highest grade by men who are skilled specialists in motor constructio! t passes to em- all wn any of our 8 Selling Agencies or write for illustrated catalogue to Western North Carolina of the ae pan Department 12 Stranger—-" Well, I'm an employé. I'm Olds Motor Works, Detroit, Mich. a member of ‘the! sate legis The “Land of the Sky”) AND * JteLk Sapphire Country SUMMA PW ROD [Jamaica a Land of Pure Delight e An ide: cr or winter resting place for the wear hir 1 id winter rest for the weary : PP y actions ipa the invalid, fre f hot, stifing; vating days and : ig winds and frosts, where the thermometer s only from 70° to 88° the year around, It is in the A NATURAL PARADISE. A midst of the Gulf Stream, its shores laved with a milk-warm peo io Payer a ee ee current of crystal-bh joyment, " inds, sly ii ption a de healt ond recreation, “For temperabe and rest ve a io the linen” acne ithe Wok. bine tpounvalne: eotcralng climate it is unexcelled. Reac! it Wg i i its entire length, produce a tonic. mountain ‘air—these : i physical conditions combining to give this favored spot a Southern Railway inet iamtanetor Cera state uniform, gentle, spring-like clima e any other known z ra spot on cart in most superbly equipped trains in less than cai 24 hours tide from New York. Pyee 2 ‘Write for descriptive book of the “Land of the Sky,” mailed free upon application to any wold i mn the agent of the Southern Railway. | “Why, I thought he tached to his old home. NEW YORK OFFICES, 271 and 1185 Broadway = “So he is, but he w » Snakes and fevers are un- ALEX. S. THWEATT, tor call his wife down Smooth, perfect roads run in Eastern Passenger Agent. Journal. cd the whitest,cleanest, | sandy bathing beaches, ree from sharks W. A. TURK, S.M. MARDWICK, | Deacon Cobbs—" William, if your father | or undertow. Elegant up-to-date Am- Pass’r Traffic Mgr. Gen'l Pass’r Agent. | should have ten dollars and some one | erican or European hotels; good, clean, WASHINGTON, D. C. should give him five dollars, what would reasonable-priced boarding-houses,and, over all, a peaceful air of quiet, lazy content. ft is truty « (2 bani _|he | ud of Pure delight,” reached by a charming five-day sea voyage on the stanch tw T ccosl sien ona Mase seevie |. “Nothing; but ma would| «Admiral steamers from Boston every Wednesday and Friday. Round trip tickets $60 00, ¢: juve when answering advertisements. | have a new hat!"—Chicago News. from May Ist ty Oct tst. Write for free booklet. Address United Fruit Co., Long Whart, Rosten aN