Judge, 1903-04-18 · page 14 of 20
Judge — April 18, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and filler content**, typical of Judge magazine's format. The main satirical content is a brief joke at the top: **The Satire:** Two men (Smithers and Smuthers) discuss women's charity donations. One claims women gave eighty million dollars to charity; the other expresses skepticism, sarcastically saying he'd believe it only if the amount were oddly precise (seventy-nine million, nine hundred ninety-eight thousand, etc.). **The Point:** This mocks both women's charitable giving as potentially exaggerated claims AND the obsessive precision some people use to sound credible—implying that round numbers like "eighty million" sound suspiciously inflated or invented. The rest of the page consists of contemporary advertisements (Boston Garter, Sohmer Pianos, Postum Coffee, etc.) and unrelated anecdotes about coffee's health effects. These ads provide historical context about early 1900s consumer products and marketing but contain no political or social satire themselves.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Smithers—* This men gave eighty mil during the past year.” Smuthers—* 1'dor ‘Smithers—" Why Smuthers—*\t “doesn't sound either reasonable or womanly. If it had been seventy-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-eight thousand, nine hundred and ninety-cight dollars ‘and ight cents I could have believed i i | paper says that wo- |All over the clvilized world fon dolars in charity THE IMPROVED BOSTON nati Commercial Tribune, “He's cither very rich or very poor. low do you know?” He always makes people wait a long time for their money.""—Chicago Post. QUIT AND EAT. SOME COFFEE TALES. 1S KNOWN and WOR! Every BRE The fe le Warranted | stamped on ® loop — Show a woman an easy, comfortable |and healthful way to improve her com plexion and she is naturally interested Coffee is the one greatest enemy of fair women, for in the most of cases it directly affects ‘the stomach producing slight. and sometimes great congestion of the liver and therefore causing the bile tobe | ery CUSHION BUTTON its natural way. The result is a sallow, muddy skin and a train of discases of the different organs of the body which, in all too many cases, develop into chronic dis. | eas A lady speaking of how coffee affected - her says: “I was very fond of coffce but | THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE! “hile dinking it was under the care of Se jthe doctor most of the time for liver| LIST OF THE HIGHEST trouble, and was compelled to take blue GRADE PIANOS mass a great deal of the time. My com- |Blexion was bad and I had a pain in my ide steadily, probably in the liver. “When [ concluded to quit coffee and Sohmer Building, Sth Ave. cor 22d Geo, Prost Co., Makers, ‘Beaten, Mass, 0-8 A; "REFUSE ALL SUBSTITUTES take Postum Food Coffce | had it made carefully and from the very first cup we liked the taste of it better than any of the old coffee. | “Ina short time the pain left my side and my friends began to comment on the change in my complexion and general looks. I have never seen anything equal to the good I got from making this change. Only aatesroom tn Greater New York . “A young lawyer in Philadelphia ‘THE LAND 0! LAKES, named whose life was almost a bur- In central western New York State, is becor den from indigestion and its train of evils, tore popular each "year among “summer resort Delightul summer-resort hotels, cottages and. arm: houen accommadating samen toarderm are Tecate | armany points on the lakex easily reached by the Lehigh Valley Railroad, The region is described in booklet, “As seen from Train,” mailed fora two-cent stamp to cover Address General Passcager Department, Lehi Railrond, New York. quit coffee some months ago and began ‘on Postum Food Coffee. He quickly re- covered and is now well, strong and cheerful and naturally loud in his praises | of Postum. Another friend, an old gentleman of | seventy, named ——, who for years suf- | fered all one could suffer and five, from dyspepsia, and who sometimes for weeks| could cat'no bread or solid food, only a little weak grucl or milk, quit coffee upon my recommendation ‘and took up Postum. He began to get better at once Now he can cat rich pastry or whatever he likes and is perfectly well.” ‘ven by Postum Co., MENNEN’S BORATED TALCUM TOILET POWDER for After Shaving. Taalet that your barber uses Meanen's Toilet Powder afer h te Battle GOOD INCOMES MADE By gelling our celebrated 1 Seonlakon she Upholstery. Summer Curtains and Coverings. TST eh MOST gogo. | Hole Meta, Lace and Colored Madras Cartan osama, Sue Munn and Lace Pedoprends IIb. trade mark red hag made to any size desired. & PTS | eapry Sit, roche Hensal and Proted Morente Sales Tor’ Sasi! Curtains, Light Draperies and Fancy Billows. Cretonnes and Printed Linens large variety of new, attractive and desirable terns, suitable for bedrooms and boulours in country hou.es. Hotel and Yacht Upholstery Work. Estimates on application Aigha | | NEW YORK. TURKISH HAIR GROWER Senses eons te 3 ones er cesy mtenane | reo nonces. Hanky Roweixe, 110 ith Ave, N.Y. | ferent he et prone Moore. #1 Fremont Sanger an3 het aa. heat bation, "hat eo GINSEN Your money. P, B. MILLS, Bes 60, Rose Hill,N. Y. 31°53 Vesey St. New York FG, Box 259. | Press Cutting Bureau will | send you all newspaper :h may appear about you, your friends, oF pat: | ROMEIKE’S clippings w! any aabject on which you want to be “up to date.” very newspaper and penodical of importance in the ‘United States and Barope is searched. Terms, $5.00 for HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE) Branch Waren, so Heckman sree Sew York | aa EEG OF Pare Book free, telling how to invest ia, and LIQUOR HABITS CURED! ter ésere"i= | MORPHINE Scams? dastryand double where have bron Sured by os. | ‘Write The De. J. Seupbens Ca, Dep 3, Labenon, Obie: | absorbed into the system instead of going } - Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Balvimore, Md. ) so} La Montt—'It is quite an innovation long for your change,” said the smiling | for that café proprietor to have his menu shop-girl, as she counted it out. “Tam|in English, French, and Latin.” raid Ihave given you a bad quar-| La Moy It's economy. When an : English dish 1s left over he gives it a French name, and if it is still around on |the third day’ he changes it to Latin.""— | Philadel phia Record “It was too bad to keep you waitin, te What!" exclaimed Mr. Tyte-Phist, in | rm. of an hour.” Oh!" he said, considerably relieved Chicago Tribune, | 3 | Ascum—" Haven't you got a job yet?” = | Layzee—No; I'm still waiting for Della—* What did you fall out about?” | Something to turn up.’ Cella—*Why, we hadn't been engaged | Ascum—" What you need to tum up a week before he quit buying boxes and | are your sleeves." —Catholic Standard and brought me candy in a paper bag.”—| Times. N Orleans Times-Democrat. Customer (to head waiter) —"' Here, sir. ., | this clumsy fellow has spilled half of my cup of tea down my back If you would te time reading maxims d Head waiter (to waiter, stemnly)— ing advice from the successful, Just | Bring this gentleman a full cup of tea get busy. — (Massachusetts) | instantly. Orleans Times-Demo- Fournal crat FROM FOUR-TRACK NEWS. “OUR LEADING CARDS” NO. 3—THE KING ‘Long Live the Hing” The New York Central has 14 trains a day New Vork to Buffalo and Niagara Falls, 8 to Chicago, 4 to St. Louis, § to Cincinnati, § to Montreal, 9 to Toronto, 8 to Cleveland, and 7 to Detroit. ‘Tne, Four-TRAcK News, an illustrated monthly magazine of travel and education— 100 or more pages, every one of which is of human interest. Mailed free to any address in North America for 50 cents a year; foreign countries one dollar—single copies § cents. Sold by news dealers. Grorcr H. Daniets, Publisher, Grand Central Station, New York. 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