Judge — March 14, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, ‘One copy, one year, oF 2 numbers « One copy. sir onthe or ab numbers = "S39 One copy, for thirteen weeks =. = > ag facioding the Ciimistatas JunGe. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. Wasraan Urrice—328-829 Marquette Building, Chicago, EUROrHan SALES-AGKNTS—/nternational news company, Bream's building, Chancery lane, £ C London. Brentandn, aivnue de COperan Parte: Saarback's news exchange, Maine. Germany. the United States and Great Britais. cuted. savelope with all manuscripts, C descriptive letter-press should in every lastance be writt upea a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamps 10 the full amount of fo insure safe and prompt retura of material not accepts. tage Is also required, HE FAT MAN falls alike on the slippery sidewalk of the just and the unjust. eee ACCORDING to the tomjohnson system of philosophy, poverty is the result of injustice. And yet we are not “| ready to accept the dictum that the poverty of invention so Z glaringly apparent in the gilt-edged’ fiction of to-day is so much the result of injustice as it is of the boundless impu- dence, not to say incompetence, of the copy-builders. ILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN has joined a farmers’ association, and it is not unlikely that in time he may come to be regarded far and near as a journalist farmer of the Greeley type. He recently took part in a discussion on the subject of how to winter hens with a view to obtaining the best results, and did it in so eloquent and philosophic a manner that his friends think he may soon be able to solve the riddle as to why the chicken crossed the road. We trust that Mr. Bryan has at last found his true level of usefulness, and that his crow of triumph may be quite as loud as that of the man who is his opponent in any political contest. OF ALL the national puzzles that ever existed, the one familiarly known as the Chinese puzzle has probably enjoyed the longest vogue. But at last it pales into insignificance, and must kick the dust from its shoes and get out forever and make room for the American puzzle which now has the middle of the stage and the lime-light of pub- lic attention. And this Ameri- can puzzle which concerns the welfare of the nation is, to put it into a handful of simple words, which is going to gain the su- Premacy—<congress, law, or the trusts? It is certainly a most in- teresting three-cornered contest, and it begins to look as if the victory is destined to alight on the banner of the trusts, which trusts. might, for ferocity and voracity, be compared to and with a pack of Russian wolves. The trusts do not, like the wolves, prowl around on moon- lit snow-drifts and how! in their hunger; they seek and pounce upon their quarry in silence. In Wn Wa in the open; they skulk and sneak and set traps. And this being the case, according tu expert opinion, it begins to look as if the trusts will eventu- ally control congress and make the laws of the land, if it is possible for such a dire state of affairs to be brought about. They sleep with one eye open, and the open optic is the one that is familiarly known as the eye for business, which is a purely commercial organ. Small dealers of every kind and description are, to the Pharisees that make up the general octopus, as squabs on toast to the man who has been for days on a raft in the open sea. And the probabilities are that these self-sufficient demons of greed will in a like manner devour the law and congress if the people that still call themselves Americans do not rise up and assert their rights, after the manner of those that threw the tea overboard. To prevail against this well-organized monster, that is composed of many monsters, congress and the law will find their hands full. And it is devoutly to be wished that con- gress will invest itself with the spirit of John Hancock, and that the law will cast off its proverbial delay observed by Hamlet and take the trusts by the throat. They are a menace to everything that should prevail in decent society, and taken together become a monster which, for all-round greed and general cussedness, must suggest to the thinking man the creature that capers and caracoles in the fourth verse of the twelfth chapter of Revelations. 'HEN ANYTHING is lop-sided or builded out of proportion, its most. conspicuous feature is very apt to be its inequality. This rule ap- plies alike to a fat man, to a bull-dog, or to anything else that is out of plumb or uneven. It is the opinion of experts, as well as of laymen, that Uncle Sam’s navy is not of the dimensions to make it match the other pos- sessions which make him the chief particular envy, as well as a thorn in the flesh, of all the crowned heads. The said crowned heads that have had the rare misfortune to meet him in a conflict on the sea are of the opinion that his navy is quite large enough, if not several sizes too large, for them. It may not be absolutely necessary for him to build a larger navy for fight- ing purposes, but it seems desirable that it should consist of a greater num- ber of ships, in order that no one may care to exchange shots with him ‘on the water. It is a well-known fact that Uncle Sam’s navy has often been destroyed on paper by navies that have been destroyed by his when the fight was removed from the aforesaid paper and transferred to the sea. And yet his navy is too small for a personage of his weight, inches and im- portance. They do not match any more than do a three-hundred-pound dowager and an eight-ounce dog meandering gracefully down the main thoroughfare. Any ordinary person seeing the latter pair cannot help wondering why the dog doesn’t try to grow up to the woman, or why the woman does not train down to match the dog. The thinking person wonders why the woman does not exchange her toy canine for a large speci- men, or for a number of small dogs whose aggregate weight would equal that of a large one. Uncle Sam would not, of course, reduce himself for the sake of be- ing on a par with his navy, as regards proportion, and he should therefore build his navy up until his people would take pride in comparing it in point of grandeur with his mining, railroad and other industries. If his canal system were on a par with his navy it would have to go out of business, and his battle-ships might be hauled by the forsaken mules. And where is his navy when set up against the back- ground of his factories, his pub- lic schools, his sky-scraper build- ings, and his bridges, all of which are unequaled in every possible point of size and general all-round bigness? It is to be hoped that the day is not far dis- tant when Uncle Sam will be aroused from his lethargy, for we are certain that it is lethargy and not enforced indifference which is responsible for the fact that he has outgrown his navy, and outgrown it so thoroughly that after a while, if he does not perform a lightning-change, we may hear the faithful exclaim, with uplifted eyes and hands, foes Wy a a—— = other words, they win by subter- fugeand the low cunning that the wolf has not. They do not fight AT NIAGARA. Josnua Backwoops— ‘Lindy, it beats all how them newspapers lle. Them falls ain't harnessed no more'n | am.” “Where are the ships of Uncle Sam?" even as it was once asked, “Where are the ships of Tyre?”