Judge — March 7, 1903 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“I'm awfully afraid the statisticians) “She married the coachman because will get hold of this durbar affair at| she wanted some one who could drive.” Delhi.” ” Well?" In what fashion?” “Well, he drove her to distraction!"— ~ Why, they'll show us that a quarter| Chicago Post. of a mile of solid elephant will weigh ‘as much as a first-class cruiser. Then they'll let_us_know that the elephant trunks would fill one hundred and sixty- one transfer wagons, with five left over, | while the ivory tusks could be trans: formed into ninety-seven thousand two hundred and sixty-three billiard-balls and | five hundred and fifty-nine manicure handles. Oh, it's a ‘ft, this statis tic business.” fe Slacacered Plain. Dealer, Tired brain and nervous tension relax under the potent action ot the Original Abbott's An- gostura Bitters. Label on bottle tells the Orig- inal—Abbott’s. When civilization reached Pine Hill City a bank was established, and one of eat A few days later he wanted money, an eland entered the place with a gun in his hand “Want some money to-d queried the president. "Well, it's ready for you.” “Say, I don’t understand," “Where are you you goin ing to send that letter, Uncle Remus?” To de Philippines, sah.” exclaimed “Do you know any one there? the old man as he backed off. No,’ sah, but Ah wants to git even here to hold this bank up for thirty dol: wid de gubament. " Dey chahge twocents | Jars," to send a lettah one square, en de same! "But you don't have to. Just tode Philippines. Ah’ get mah money's this cheque, and I'll hand you your werf out ob dis one." —Chicago News. | money.” 3 — | “And I don't yell or shoot?” Dus r, will you No.” lend me mething toeat?") "And the sheriff don't come after me?” il—"Why, you've got a quarter in] “No. Put your name to this."” your hand now! ” What's that for? “T can't do it—can’t do it, nohow.” Dusty Daniel—" Oh, that's to tip the) said the old man with a choke in his waiter!" —Boston Globe. voice. “If that’s the ne of doin’ _ - things I'm out of it. [want my moncy | but Twant it in the old wa “Well, have it the old way, The old man tramped forward to the cashier's window, rested the muzzle of his gun on the ledge, and yelled out. “Come down or you're a dead man!” “Certainly. Here's thirty.” And—and is that all there is to it?” “That's all.” Then I'll be hanged if I want it!" he said: Daniel—" Pi Facts About Evans’ Ale The present members of the firm of Evans & Sons are of the third gener gaged in the brewing of Ale at Hudson, N.Y. The methorls pursued in the Brewery have been improvesl until no Ale in the world can ns product. Moreover, then.” of sugar in front of grocery and shed | tears. Galveston Nex at prewery, to pay as much for Evans? Ale as tor foreign ‘brands if its brewers followed. ire Enghah custom of allowing outsiders to-do the bottling. Hes a. price difference worth se rious stad, A LAYMAN DOCTOR A IINT AOUT COFFEE. peaking of coffe ville, Ohio, says: coffce at the medical college and in spite of our laboratory tests which showed it to ine, an active poison, I con- tinued to use the drink, and later on found myself affected with serious stom- ion, headaches, ete laches came on so regularly and oppressed me so that I found it difficult to attend to my regular duties One day last November I met a frien whom { had known to be similarly af- flicted. His marked improvement in ap- pens caused me to inquire what he ad been doing. He announced that he |had, some tim quit coffee and was using Postum Food Coffee; to this change he attributed the change in his health. “T took the hint, even from a | Dealers and Restaurants Everywhere, a doctor of Dect ie CM, EVANS & SONS, Est. 1786, Hudson, N.Y. ye\ POK SE 7 CHAR TREUSE and made the samé change myself. The first week I notic ttle difference, j but not much. The third |change was almost. magical week the I have continued with the Postum and now my digestion is perfect, the nervous head- aches have entirely’ disappeared, and | am well. My own analysis of the Postum Food Coffce shows it to be a pure food drink of strong character which is a |marked contrast to the’ old fashioned | coffee.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. A Dainty Sip is CHARTREUSE GREEN AND YELLOW— AND A FITTING FINALE TO THE BEST OF DINNERS. IT DELIGHTS AND ENRICHES SOCIAL HOSPITALITY AX frevetans Wine Merchants Orocer Hotela Caf Ratjer & Co. 45 Mroadway, New Vork, N-Y Sole Ageats for United States, Orrice: 126 CHAMBERS ST., NEW YORK he first customers was old man Johnson. | ¢ d Fy | Exclusively for Gentlemen | | and he threw the money back and | went outdoors and sat down on a barrel | :| agrees wi Dusty Rhodes—"'Will yer please give) This is the way the Worcester Gaze!t: mie a dime to get somethin’ to eat with?" /head-lines our Franklin street fire: Bunker Hill—" Sy good man, you can-|"* Lurid flames lick heavens!” And the not purchase a set of false teeth for ten | fire-department finally licked the “Jurid cents.""—New York Times. flames.""—Boston Transcript. “Why, when my grandfather came| Cyrus was asked how he managed to here he could have bought the whole town | remember the name of every soldier under for a song have heard that phrase before.” an 's easy," replied the great Persian swered the operatic ‘manager, “Ae i|*"When T'itved i the subwebs 1 used to think it over I begin to get a glimmer as! buy all my wife's thread and ribbons to why so many opera singers act as if t the simplicity of genius. they own the earth." —Washington Star. | York Tribune Suppose a National Bank Offered to Set Aside A Sum of [Money for You to be secured at the end of aterm of years upon the payment of small instalments, and with the guarantee that the whole sum should go to your heirs in STRENGTH OF case GIBRALTAR of your death before that time, your pay- would Would ge of the offer? ments immediately stop! you not take advanta This is Precisely What THE PRUDENTIAL Offers You, with Dividends Guaranteed Through its Popular Endowment Polici They are worth your immediate investigation. Dept. N. The Prudential Insurance Company of America JOHN F. DRYDEN, President HOlIE OFFICE, Newark, N. J. Particulars free upon request. Madge—*She says her husband never h her. Maryoric—" What else could she ex- pect? She married a lobster.” HOTEL BON AIR Augusta, Ga. |Once of the leading resort hotels , of the South, Situated on what is known as the Sand Hitls af Geor- gia It has a climate that for deyn healthfulness ‘not surpassed in the Eastern part of the United States. Good EIGHTEEN- HOLE GOLF COURSE. Beautiful drives and excellent shooting. THE CLUB are the original bottled Cocktails. Years of experience have made them THE PERFECT COCKTAILS : - that they are. no jure FURR $0} CORRECT. ARTIZICIAL into buying some imitation. The CARBONIC, ARTIFICIAL VicHy, || § ORIGINAL, of anything ls good SELTERS, CLUB SODA, Etc., |/ J cnough. | When others are offered sate sets, ote ||] HE# foe the purpose of lrger profs bres t@ any part of the United Stites Ore COCKTAILS, and take no other, cers 00 G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO, Sole Proprietors CARL H. SCHULTZ, $0 Brospwax, New Your, N.Y. oe Nisatien Se HantvoRp, Conn. For Booklet with full information, address C. G. TRUSSELL, Mgr. ‘The onl; New York to Buffalo, via New York Central—Finest One-Day Railroad Ride in the World | comicbooks.com -