Judge, 1903-02-28 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 28, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"In the Push"** satirizes the chaotic experience of crowded New York City public transportation and urban life—the relentless jostling on Broadway streetcars, theaters, and restaurants. The poem mocks modern city-dwellers' constant struggle against crowds. **"Like Old Times"** jokes about a widower using a phonograph (talking machine) to hear his deceased wife's voice, then hitting himself with a chair—dark humor about grief and marital discord. **"Another Legend"** anachronistically imagines George Washington's Delaware crossing accompanied by bloodhounds (likely referencing slave-catching imagery), satirizing how historical events get dramatized. The remaining items are brief gags: a bald barber selling ineffective hair tonic, a fiancée's mercenary expectations, and similar period comedic tropes. The cartoons use caricature and visual exaggeration typical of era humor. Overall, the page reflects urban anxieties and domestic comedy popular with *Judge's* middle-class readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IN THE PUSH. JOU push into a crowded car Upon the Broadway line ; You push to grab a leather strap, And sweat and fume and pine. You get your tocs pushed and you lose The buttons from your oat; You get pushed out as if pushed by A Harlem Billy-goat. You push to see the play by night; They push you to a seat. You push yourself all out of shape— This pushing naught can beat. You push from out the hall and join ‘The push in the café; You push your order for a meal And push to get away. You push to make an early train— You are a minute late; ‘The guard, with Doth on you push the It’s push and push from morn till night, I's push from night till morn : And still the push will push and push When Gabriel toots his horn. LIKE OLD TIMES. Wivower WiLson (weeping)—" Bless man w'ot Invented (hic) talkin’-machines! Sheems just as if dear, sweet. gentle Mary was alive again.” (Hits himself three mes ‘on the back with a chair and goes to bed.) ANOTHER LEGEND. HE dauntless little party of colonials embarks for the celebrated crossing of the Delaware.. Behind them, as they leave the snore, can be heard the deep-mouthed baying of bloodhounds. “If Uncle Tom's Cabin‘ were now in existence,” remarks Gen- eral Washington to the sturdy patriot at his side, “1 should contrib- ute to future legendary lore by saying that this feat has considerable of the elements of the theatrical.” EXHIBIT A. *#s6TTRY our own hair-tonic ? sked the bald barber. We guar- antee it to sprout hair on the barest head.” “Why don't you use it on your own?” asked the customer, thinking to bafile his tormentor. “ Because,” whispered the -barber confidentially, “they won't let me. They make me leave my hair off so as to be the * before- using’ exhibit. My brother, he’s the ‘after-using.’ He's out just HIS, EXPLANATION! now, but you ought to see his hair!" “What have you been doing to her to make her cry?"* “Aw, nuffin’: only she ‘spects me ter blow me money on her jest de same as | did afore we wuz engaged.” KEEPING IN PRAC- TICE, HE Washington’s- birthday masked ball was in full swing. The hour for unmask- ing had arrived. “ Where is George Washington ?" ask the Spanish inquisitor of Louis Quinze. “The last I saw of fim," said Louis, “he was in the buffet cutting down the vis- ible supply of cherry- bounce.” WHY HE FAILED. Jinks —" Why did young Pudney fail? 1 thought he was doing well.” Binks—« He was until he spent too much time reading A FILIAL IDEA. ANOTHER ADVANCE IN SCIENCE. the advice to young ___ Tas reucan—"That’s a very handsome cane you are Uncte Aoer—" By gravy! I never expected ter live ter sea Men on how to suc: . "Tue ostRicH—"' Do you like it? It's a bust cf my father gun thet ‘d carry as fur as thet.” ceed. carved in wood." comicbooks.com