Judge — February 28, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT TIE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 FIYTH AVENUE, NEW TORK. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANZ2A IN AOVANCE, One copy, one year, oF s2 numbers = #5203 One copy, sx months, of 26 numbers + "go Une copy, lor thirteen weeks ss "Ticioding the Cumstaas voce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countnes in the postal union, $6.00 a year. Wasrtun Urrice—S28-829 Marquette Building, Onicago, ceraasronal aces coupany, Broam's biiding, Chantry la senna de POporas Parle: Searkach's mrwe tichange, Slated, yyright in both the United States and Great Britaio, Lifriageswest ily and vigorous! prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mist inclose 2 stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manuscri ctherwise’retara of the Latter when fouad unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and a!l contridations sent to the Art Department should have the sender's ful: ame and address wrilten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying descriptive letter-press should in every instance be written upon ils individaal picture, rea a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamps to the full amount of postage Is also required. to insure safe and prompt returs -¥ material nat accepted. ==> ROM THIS TIME ON there will be fun in the Demo- | cratic barnyard, and it is quite likely that the feathers will fly and show which way the political wind is blow- ing. And many of the said feathers will fly from the anatomy of the latest addition to the roosters of the aforesaid barnyard, Alton B. Parker, who, having been hatched into political prominence less than a year ago, may safely be counted un to make matters lively for the tough old birds of compatriots above whom he now tow- ers as a logical leader and not as a mere figure-head. That they will endeavor to cut his comb and despoil his feathery grandeur there can be no reasonable doubt. They are now watching him with anxious and envious while honing and stropping their spurs for the al operation they are yearning to perform. There is much crowing, in which a handful of free-silver notes is still heard from a few, while others shriek in such a manner as to give the impression that they are mak- $$ ing much noise without giving the hearers any clear Idea of what they are driving at and where and on what they stand. Unto themselves they are a poultry show that is made up of all sorts and:condi- tions of roosters, not one of whom would ever land even the negro chicken- thief vote. While they scratch and crow and lay plans for his destruction, Alton B. Parker is serene and indifferent even to the extent of not fortify- ing himself with a political accident policy. Certainly so time-battered and rain-bedraggled a flock of birds makes a beautiful background for the latest member to shine against. He is like a snow-white dove against a back- xround of black velvet when placed in front of any of these antique min- strels, who, if he be not careful, will rudely blast his future by side-tracking orcanning him, He should sleep with one eye firmly riveted on the slip- pery contingent in whose midst he crows and has his being if he would not be buried deep in the Democratic graveyard long before the 1904 straw- berries are ripe. tee 'HOUGH 1994 is a long way off, and many changes, political and other- wise, may be known before it sees the light, yet are there long-headed people whose experience is embroidered with the gold of victory and who know what they know because it was drummed into them in the hard, rough: and-tumble school of life, who say that the grand old Republica elephant will never change, but that he may be relied upon to stand squarely and solidly on and for all the underlying principles of Republicanism. He has been a firm believer in the Monroe doctrine, which he began to absorb with the peanuts and caramels of his infancy. And when he swings his trunk to and fro and chews hay while the sun shin is to the music of the spirit of this famous document. He ambles and rocks to the jingle of sound money, and no matter what the tempo may be, he never fails to move his anatomy in harmony with it. He has an idea that America is for the Amer- icans, and he stands on his hind legs with joy when the flag is unfurled and the eagle scre: Protection to American capital and labor is one of the strongest planks in his platform, for he is a firm believer in both, as he realizes that without one the other could not exist and carry on a flour- ishing business. He has a hind foot which is more accurate in measuring distance and more terrific in force than that of the most frisky canal mule. He keeps this member well vaselined for action, and never, to speak, unleashes and lets it fly except at the trusts. Some day he will land a solid kick or two on the anatomies of these plutocratic monsters and cause them to suddenly collapse and join the snowflakes of yesteryear. Whenever the grand old elephant performs, the hosts of the faithful occupy the front seats and voice their appreciation in well-chosen shrieks of joy. They know that this lively old quadruped never stands on anything without first test: ing its capacity for resisting his weight, and that he therefore stands only ‘on that which is solid and substantial. He will be found in this attitude in 1904, and in 1908, for that matter, and the seers and wise mea will con- tinue to pin their faith to him while they toss him the peanut he so dearly loves, and smile as they revlize how well and how gracefully he skips the light and airy saraband of Republican felicity while standing squarely and firmly on the principles of his party with the smile of an accomplished equilibrist. A RAPID (FIRE) CALCULATOR. Teacner—"* Now, Johnny Jonnny—" Two years, ma am.” Teachter—"* Oh, no. Johnny.” y. if a missionary can convert five heathen in one year how long will it take to convert a thousand?” Jonnny—" Oh, ycs, ma'am. The sscoud year his government would send a gun-boat an’ some sojers.”" comicbooks.com