Judge, 1903-02-21 · page 4 of 16
Judge — February 21, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains several satirical pieces: **"His Innocence Established"**: A prisoner successfully proves his innocence using a jimmy (crowbar) as a commuting tool—satirizing the absurdity of judicial evidence. **"The Sapient Sluggard"**: A parable mocking government inefficiency, where a wise man's instruction to a sluggard goes unheeded until the sluggard observes an ant-eater dining, suggesting governmental processes move too slowly. **"Judge's Favorites"**: A brief joke about Annie Russell in "Mice and Men." **"Happily Careless"**: Humor about a woman who wore a seal-skin coat with its price tag still attached all day. **"Society Note"**: A satirical item describing "Sock the Pedestrian," a dangerous new auto club game where participants swing at pedestrians from moving vehicles. The page primarily targets judicial incompetence, government slowness, and the reckless behavior of wealthy auto enthusiasts.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS INNOCENCE ESTABLISHED. ‘YOUR honor,” protested the prisoner earnestly, “1 can explain satis- factorily how I happen to carry a jimmy {am a commuter and use it to open the car-windows and doors—only for that purpose.” The detectives admitted that no burglar had-ever been known to use such a powerful jimniy, and on the pro- duction of his commutation ticket the magistrate discharged the prisoner. THE SAPIENT SLUGGARD. $60 TO the ant, thou sluggard said the wise man. Meekly the sluggard obeyed the in. junction. When he arrived at the ant’s nest he found the ant- cater picking his teeth. Pondering deeply, he went his way. Some weeks" later the sluggard was seen devouring the ant-eater. JUDGE'S FAVORITES, This parable teaches MISS ANNIE RUSSELL IN ‘MICE AND MEN. that governmental own- The dude fs ever ill at ease, And feels fate’s keenest stricture ership ‘must wait until When at the play-house door he sees the ant-eater has had his Your very latest picture. dinner, thus obviating Oh, nothing then his spirit glads considerable detail in the And makes him like the cricket way of industrial assimi- If he has not the shining scads lation. With which to buy a ticket. " HAPPILY CARELESS. QUE carelessness oft makes us unhappy. Yet there once was a lady who purchased a two-thousand-dollar seal-skin coat, and then quite inad- vertently wore it with the price-mark still attached. To be sure, she was confused, after having worn the coat all day, to have her attention called to the price-ticket. But remembering the expression on the faces of the women she had met _ President." SURPRISING. “Yes, Bobby; any man born In this country can be Cholly Aughter entertained the élite auto club at his palatial country seat with a new game called “" Sock the pedestrian.” Those who were unable to scorch away in time to avoid the returning swing of the ‘' ped."” were greeted with uproarious laughter. The game will be all the rage this season. comicbooks.com