Judge — February 14, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WREELY AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK, Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 ‘One copy, six months, of 26 numbers = 2.30 ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks = - = = tas factuding the CuxisTMAs Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. Westexx Ornicu—$28-829 Marquette Building, Chicage, Evrorean saues-acents—/nternational mews company, Bream’s building, Chancery lane, £ Co "talon Brentand’h, atenae de FOpera, Parle: Saarbach's news tichange, Mains, Germany. The contents of JUDGE are protected satringement of this copyright will be pr: CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stai ‘otherwise return of the latter when found unavailable ca ht ia both the United States and Great Britaia. vigorously prosecuted. \ddressed envelope with all eanuscripts, spon its individual picture, and NOT pS fo the full amovat of postage is also required, descriptive letter-press should in every instance be written arate sii HE TYPHOIDED OYSTER is served alike to the just | and the unjust. tan N THE bright lexicon of sleigh-riding a hand in the hand is worth two in the muff. HE CONCOCTOR of literature that means art for art’s sake and nothing else would do well not to presume too much upon the intelligence of the public. eee HE DEMOCRATIC PARTY practically reeks with seers and wise men. And yet not one of the long- headed and far-sighted contingent will’ attempt the task of making a political mountain of a davehill. 'HE SMALL BOY finds that the snow-man. He is, on ti with his elders that it will be a happy day when we can all lift up our voices and declare that coal is but dross. H, SEE it go, The ball of snow, And skim with vim And verve, And fizz and whizz Serenely on the para- bolic curve ! Oh, see it fly And knock awry Upon the blooming spot The silken tile That boys revile Instanter like a shot! eee IN THE TEETH of the blizzard the baseball enthusiast and seer casts. horoscopes anent the standing of the pennant-chasers at the close of next sea- sil is too precious to Le used as eyes for strength of this fact, willing to believe HE SNOW falls alike on the sidewalk of the just and the unjust, even as the just and the unjust alike slip and measure themselves grace- fully on the sidewalk upon which the snow falls. cee WHEN the mantle of greatness falls from the shoulders of its original owner there is a general clatter of boot-heels, which indicates the scramble of the ambitious lesser lights, each one of whom is struggling to catch it on the fly. Asarrule, the man who is unable to make his own mantle seldom looks well or shines in a second-hand one. The mantle is * usually too large for him, and the discrepancy which is indicated by the poor fit means that the man cannot grow up to the mantle any more than he can live up to it. He may whirl it and swirl it after the manner of a skirt-dancer in a Terpsichorean vortex, but he cannot make the people be- lieve that he and the garment of greatness were made for each other. And the mantle will not shrink like an all-wool undershirt to conform to the anatomy of its new owner. Mr. Herrick, who is the business man’s candi- date for the governorship of Ohio, is said by a daily paper of his native heath to have become the rightful owner and wearer of the McKinley man- tle. And these facts are set forth to prove that the lyric art of the presi- dential bee is now being practiced daily and nightly in the Herrick bonnet, and that the proprietor is held captive by the soothing and witching mel- ody. We trust that Mr. Herrick’s ambition may be realized, and that he may grow up to the great mantle that is said to be his, even if he has to resort to a system of diet that will build him up until he fits it. Yet, when all is said and done, he would be better off with no mantle, if he cannot have one of his own manufacture, for the reason that the time will never come when there will be such a political aphorism as ‘* mantles, not men.’ The gods are long-headed and cut the garment according to the man. NCLE SAM, though a fighter whose skill and prowess make him prac- tically invincible, is still a firm believer in and a stalwart champion of peace. He never makes it a practice to travel about with a chip on his shoulder, seeking whom he may draw into a quarrel. He likes harmony, and lots of it to the square inch. Yet he frowns on and eschews the sack- coat, and persistently wears his long-tailed garment, not because he prefers long tails, but that they may a be in evidence in case any one hap- pens to be anxious to trample on them to ascertain if such an act may or may not be performed with impunity. He is usually so wide awake on such an occasion that the foreign powers are beginning to fancy that Uncle Sam is troubled with chronic insomnia. At any rate, his weather-eye is always wide open and fastened on his interests with clinched nails. He is now so p well fortified and pro- tected that no one is over-anxious to have any trouble with him. Against his battle-ships the shells of the enemy are as the tea-biscuit of commerce that must teach the stomach be- fore it can destroy. Uncle Sam is the big- gest gun on the earth to-day, and this fact is so well understood in Europe that it is not necessary to force it into the crowned head, as a joke has to be forced into the skull of a Scotchman, that he may appreciate it. And when he sits on the big gun which he has builded to prevent hostilities and to en- able him to enjoy the peace he so devoutly loves, it is no wonder son. “And while the that the foreign powers snowflakes whirl about him like so many wind- swept. mosquitoes he perches in fancy on the bleacheries, and as his feet swing listless- ly to and fre munches alternately the predi- gested peanut and the mercerized ** frankfurt- er” sandwich, and looks as preoccupied and happy as the chap in the “after-using ” picture of a canned: soup advertisement. “ONLY ROOM FOR ONE.” shake their fists and make faces at him as he sits on his cannon, which is to him a Kam- mock of joy and rest- fulness. He evidently * believes that one one- thousand-pounder of protection is worth a thousand one-thou- sand-pounders of cure. He is armed to the teeth, and yet his ever- lasting song has for its burden, “Let us have peace!” comicbooks.com