Judge, 1903-01-31 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 31, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated satirical items typical of Judge's format: **"Monotony"** is a philosophical fable mocking human nature. A man dissatisfied with his monotonous life wishes Fate to transport him to different historical eras (Augustan Rome, Elizabethan England), but discovers each era equally tedious. Fate's punchline—"that one is always here and it is always now"—suggests that unhappiness stems from internal character, not circumstance. The satire targets perpetual complainers who blame their environment rather than themselves. **Other items** include lightweight humor: a pun about an iceman selling frozen water at markup; a joke about a sleepwalker's suitability for police work; and wordplay about life "hanging by a thread" versus "a strap." The "Bugville" vignette and auto-accident cartoon appear to be visual gags without deeper political content. The page lacks identifiable political figures or specific historical events—it's general social satire on human folly rather than topical commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IN BUGVILLE. Tue wixman—" It goes against the grain to do this, but there wasn't enough milk in the milk-weed this morning to supply all my customers."* MONOTONY.. FATE met a discontented man. “Why are you discon- tented ?” asked Fate. “Alas!” said the man, « my life is so monotonous. I desire a change of time and place.” “That is impossible,” said Fate. “Nay,” said the man; “it is in your power to transport me to a distant land and a different era.” “Choose,” said Fate. The man’s eyes spar- j f (cae il | | | >| | kled. se," he replied, * Rome during the Augustan age.” His wish was granted, but ere long Fate found him again disconsolate. “ Why are you discontented 2" asked Fate. * Alas !" he said, “ my life is so monotonous. I desire a change of time and place.” Groaned the moonshiner, back of the hill, “ Phin me darlint wolfe doied av a chill Ol thought Oi wud niver see Nora agin, But her shwate shmile haunts me still.” “ Choose,” said Fate. “TL choose England in the Elizabethan age,” said the man. His wish was granted, but ere long Fate found him again disconsolate. “ Why are you discontented 2” asked Fate. “ Alas!" said the man, “ my life is so monotonous. I desire a change of time and place.” "Fool!" said Fate. “Have you not yet discovered that one is always here and it is always now 2” canoUrN wats PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY. a proverb that’s.pat. 4 All roads,” she remarks as we walk, “lead to roam, And love makes one perfectly positive that The longest way rourid is the shortest way home. WRLIX CARRIES, WHERE HIS ACCOMPLISHMENT COULD BE USED. ssPocTor, I walk in my sleep every night. What shall I do for it?" “T wouldn't do anything; I'd get a position on the police-force.” AFTER THE AUTO ACCIDENT. CrouLy—"* Was poor Gussie pwepared to die?” Atcy—"Oh, not at all. His valet was away on his vacation, ye know.” CUTS IT BOTH SEASONS. S6YOU seem to be cutting a good deal of ice these days,” remarked the facetious neighbor as he passed Gobang’s ice-houses, where two score men were har- vesting the crop. “Yes,” answered Gobang ; “but not nearly as much as I will cut next summer, when I sell this cOngealed water for forty cents a hundred pounds.” . THAT “L” JAM. HE man whose life hangs by a thread Need scarcely give a rap. His peril doesn't equal one Whose life hangs by a strap. HE KNEW. Winterbottom (delivering a temperance oration)—* Yes, gen- tlemen, I know from personal ex- perience that in the city of Ban- gor, Maine, you can get a drink . ot whiskey on every street cor- NOUGHSAID. .. Puianturopist—"' Poor man! you say you are in here for your health? ner Convict—"Yes'm. I had six wives.” comicbooks.com