Judge, 1903-01-17 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 17, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces targeting American social hypocrisy and commercialism circa early 1900s: **"By His Fruits"** uses dialect verse (stereotypical African American speech) as romantic poetry—likely mocking both sentimental song conventions and racial caricature simultaneously. **"Quid Pro Quo"** satirizes church fundraising: a manufacturer agrees to donate hymn-books only if the church advertises his harvesting machinery in their publications. The satire targets the erosion of religious integrity through commercial interests. **"Union Rates"** jokes about labor organizing gone absurd—a child's mother must negotiate with his "Be-good union" at "a cent a minute," mocking both unionization and childhood commerce. **"His Rank"** ridicules American industrial magnates: a wealthy "corn-king" proudly claims the rank of "colonel" (likely a honorary title), satirizing how business titans adopt aristocratic pretensions. **"Jungle Dentistry"** mocks the shocking cost of dental work ($1,420.50—enormous for the era), framed as primitive barbarism. Throughout, Judge attacks commercialism corrupting American institutions and values.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BY HIS FRUITS. ‘0’ is de pippin ob mah ¢ I sigh fo' yo’, I'd die Yo" is de honey in de comb, An’ dat ar am no lie ‘bout yo". Yo! is de peach, de plum, de gray Yo! is de sweet’nin’ an’ cream— De shuga-crustin® on de cake Dat eber maik dis dawky dream. Dar's only one fruit dat yo! ain't— Ter be it, honey, us’ share Yo'r lub wif me, an’ den we bof Will eber be dat one—a pear. QUID PRO QUO. SOYVHY, yes,” says the gen- erous manufacturer to the soliciting church commit- é ; i tee; “I shall be glad, indeed, ARICATURIST —"* Things have ide { : to provide for the new set of come to a pretty pass when they re- ” fuse a tramp joke because it was done hymn-books that you request. UNION RATES: in wash.” “Oh, thank you —thank Motnex—" Now, Bobby, if you'll be good for ten minutes I'll give you a Frieno —"* But how about the : nickel."* others?" you, sir!" cry the members of Boosy—" Can't do it, mamma. Our boys’ ‘ Be-good union’ has fixed the Caricaturist—"' Said the pig joke the committee. amalgamated scale at a cent a minute.”’ should have been made with a pen, + But,” goes on the manu- the crazy man in distemper, and here- ‘4 a little reciprocity about this? If Ido after want all standard stuff in off.""_facturer, “why can't we have something for you why can't you do something for me?” “We will always mention you in our prayers,” promises the chairman of the committee. “That's very good,” says the man- ufacturer ; “ but you might do more than that. Suppose, now, that on the oppo- e page from the one that will contai the hymn, «Bringing in the Sheave you work in some sort of a favorable notice for my new models of harvesting machinery.” HIS RANK. S the visiting foreigner to the magnate who has engineered the great deal in com, “suppose are otie of the famous captains of indu try that your country has produ “Sir,” replied the corn-king, a colonel. A COMPARATIVE CINCH. Mrs. Newurweo—" Folks say you married me for my gold.” netting o a6 : Mr. Newuyweo—‘* What nonsense! If I'd simply wanted gold I could have got it with far less hardship getting what you want as of wanting and suffering in Thunder mountain or Alaska." what you can't get. T 1S not usually so much a case of not JUNGLE DENTISTRY. * Jumpin’ snakes, Lily! what in thunder does a dentist's bill of fourteen hundred and twenty dollars and fifty cents mean?" Mercy me. pa! | had to have my two front teeth capped.”