Judge, 1903-01-10 · page 4 of 16
Judge — January 10, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humor sections typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine. "All Were Heroines" discusses women warriors returning from an Amazon cavalry campaign, likely referencing contemporary women's suffrage activism or military service debates. The "Alibi" section presents jokes about excuses—one references a chicken case verdict, another involves tent mishaps and tattooed men. These are general-audience humor pieces without specific political references. Other sections like "Judge's Favorites," "In Pursuit of Knowledge," and "In the Front Row" offer brief comedic dialogues on everyday topics: theater criticism, elevator etiquette, and ballet dancers. The illustrations are typical satirical line drawings. Without clearer identification of specific public figures or dated references in the text, the precise satirical targets remain unclear, though the humor targets social pretension and everyday absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A TIPPLER’S TIP. WEARY ere I sip, alas! Direful dreams before me pass. Danger lurks within the glass— Dreary erysipelas! reuox carstex. ALL WERE HEROINES. THE editor of the Daily Amazonian listened impatiently to the ex- planations of the reporter who had been detailed to write up the tri- umphant return and public reception of the first regular amazon cavalry. ‘The ladies were home again after a long and bitte. campaign, and public interest was at its height. It was essential that the paper should state which of the women warriors had especially distinguished herself on the Held of battle, WILLING TO START A TRUST. “ Why didn’t you learn who was He—"'| worship the very ground you walk upon."* the chief heroine of the regiment ?” Sue—" You must be in the ice trust."* asked the editor. « How could 1?" asked the reporter with some heat. “ There was no way to differen- tiate. Every one of them talked.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES, VIOLA ALLEN, Oh, star awing, ‘The critics say You are the thing That ts the play. And hear us shout, Oh, star most bright | They're just about Exactly right. IN PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE. s6YOU must be asked a great many foolish questions in the course of the day,” said the solemn man to the elevator man. "Yes, sir; Lam.” “Indeed? And what are some of them ?” “Oh, same as you're asking.” IN THE FRONT ROW. Critic—” Your new ballet-girls can't dance, = 2 but they're regular daisies. HOW IT HAPPENED. Manager —" They're scarcer than daisies. Laan Seat ge a a, id squad.” Mixe—*' Oh, we voted t’ take a week off t' cilibrate th’ victory.”" NOT IN THE BOOKS. 66 \ HAT are the chief prod- ucts of South Ameri- 2" asked the school-teacher. “Tommy Taddells, you may answer.” “Rubber, coffee, ultima- tums, and insurrections,” te- plied Tommy. PLANNING AHEAD. Edith— Mertie says she intends to learn to skate this winter.” Marie—* But she learned: last winter.” Edith—“Yes; but she broke her engagement to that fellow.” OUT OF BUSINESS. Cobwigger—“1 hear the storm blew your tent down.” AN UP-TO-DATE ALIBI. Circus, fakir =i Worse Why didn’ Pete prove an alibi in dat chicken case?” than that. The rain gave the Dey wouldn’ gib him time. sword-swallower a sore throat Just Jacksou—" How ri:uch time did he want?” Mosz Moopus—" Oh, ‘cout f'ree or four yeahs, so his frien’s covld yemembah bettah ‘bout his dinin’ wif dem onde 2% washed all the designs off ebenin’ de chickens wuz stele,"" the tattooed man, comicbooks.com