Judge, 1902-12-27 · page 4 of 17
Judge — December 27, 1902 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's format. **"A Christmas Poem"** by C.F. Stffer lists humorous gift expectations—toys, drums, and other period items—culminating in a Christmas tree. **"Judge's Favorites"** references Ida Melville in "His Honor's Sister," a theatrical performance, with accompanying verse about dancing and romance. **"Gauzy Affairs"** presents a brief dialogue joke about a woman claiming her Christmas tree decoration consists of worn hosiery, creating a pun on "open-work" stockings. **"Long Island Prodigies"** and other sections contain short comedy sketches and wordplay typical of the magazine's humor. The illustrations are period cartoons with no identifiable political figures or major social commentary visible—primarily domestic humor and theatrical references for contemporary readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE'S FAVORITES. IDA MELVILLE IN ‘SIS HOPKIN'S SISTER." ‘When you sing and when you dance We in spirit gayly prance Ina region of romance. Then if we are not elate “Tis because we know that fate Soon will at a lively rate On the scene, unwelcome, pop And the curtain cause to drop— Then our joy ‘ll flip, flap and flop. CHANGING THE DIET. Cannibal chief —“ Wasn't that last missionary you sent us a writer of books 2" Cannibal chief—" And the one before was formerly an editor 2” Agent—* That is correct.” Cannibal chief—“ Well, | wish you'd send us a football-player next. The medi- cine-man says we're having too much brain- food.” AFTER THE CHRISTMASDINNER. First ostrich— No, I'm not well; my stomach is troubling me.” Second ostrich — Perhaps you've been eating something digestible.” A CHRISTMAS POEM. A top, a horn, some iron trains ; a drum, a gun, a ball and reins ; a sled and skates, a rock- ing-horse ; some candy, cakes and nuts of course ; a purple cow, a jumping-jack, a cotton dog, of books a pack ; a wagon, doll and, buildi 3 a magic lantern, camera, too ; tin soldiers, nine-pins, games (a few). ‘This is what Wilfred says that he wants hung upon his CHRISTMAS TREE. GAUZY AFFAIRS. sworn off wearing open-work hos- stated the fair damsel. "cried her friend. “What a sacrifice “1 know it is; but I hung a pair of them on the Christmas-tree and all my pres- crits slipped through the holes. LONG ISLAND PRODIGIES. Jonzs—"' Yes, sir; that boy of mine is a won- derful piano-player. Why, he can play with his toes." * How old is he?’ teen.” I've got a boy at home who can play with his toes, and he is only one year old.”” WELL SUPPLIED. Mrs. Jones—" The Chinese alphabet has forty thousand characters."” Mrs. Brow! WHO AM I? MX AGE is past the age of man, And yet Iam a boy. To some Tam a source of pain, ‘To others I'm a joy. One-half the year I’m often found, One-half the year I'm lost. Kind reader, ne'er you'll guess my name— Because it is Jack Frost. HIS FUNCTION. She— So your cousin has been elected sheriff” in the west? How dreadful! I sup- pose his duty will be to hang men?” He—"No; they manage ILLUSTRATED SLANG. “Cheer up: the worst is yet to come.”* things different out there. His duty will be to prevent other men from hanging them.” Dear me! that’s more than our cook had who eloped with alll our china."’ HOLIDAY NOTES. Physical culture by mail. comicbooks.com