Judge, 1902-12-20 · page 24 of 52
Judge — December 20, 1902 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents early 20th-century social humor targeting middle-class anxieties around Christmas gift-giving and courtship. **Main content:** "Caught for Christmas" opens with a talking turkey who escaped Thanksgiving—an anthropomorphic joke about seasonal fate. Multiple vignettes mock **gift-giving hypocrisy**: A husband receives cheap cigars from his wife, plans to secretly replace them with better ones before she discovers his deception. Later, his wife reveals she'd actually bought quality cigars for his uncle—creating ironic mutual deception. "The Real Thing" satirizes wealthy but shallow suitors: a "flat" (dull person) becomes attractive only because he owns an automobile and yacht. "The Modern Parent" jokes about modern parenting: parents encourage children to believe Santa arrives via automobile rather than chimney. The mistletoe vignette plays on Victorian romance conventions. **Overall point**: Judge mocks emerging consumer culture, class pretense, marital dishonesty, and how material goods (automobiles, luxury gifts) are reshaping courtship and family traditions—treating Christmas as increasingly commercialized and fraudulent.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CAUGHT FOR CHRISTMAS. A FINE old turkey-gobbler, Up in Rhode Escaped the coop Thanksgiving And strutted round sedate. “ They didn't get me this time,” Old Mister Gobbler said, And then he piaffed his feathers Aiid ‘shook his crimson head. For thirty days he gobbled, a played policeman him to the block. “Tam the country’s axe-man About this time of year.” AND HERE'S THE GIRL. A parlor and a dimly burning light, A maiden who is pleasing to the sight, A tiny sprig of sacred mistletoe — ‘What moreis wanted on a Christmas night? THE REAL THING. Guapys—"'Isn’t he awfully flat 2” Eor—" Yes; but he has an ‘ auto,” a yacht andadrag. He's what you might call a flat with all modern improvemenis." .THE MODERN PARENT. Mrs. Knicker— Does your little boy believe 1. WHY HE SWOONED. in Santa Claus ? Mr. Newzrwep (the week before Christmas)—" Great Scott! Here's six boxes of cheap cigars my Mrs, Bocker—* Oh, yes; I always sprinkle wife has evidently bought me for Christmas. I couldn't possibly smoke such vile things, and still | 1 1,.86 Reginald. thiake he comes wouldn't like to hurt her feelings by refusing. I'll just substitute six boxes of my best ‘Havanas,' 8Solene around, so Reginald thinks he comes and throw these cheap ones in the furnace before she’returns."” down the gas-log in an + auto.” Her spouse our homage fills ; Adam comes later in the month When papa gets the bills. ALWAYS. Mrs. Hoyle—The course of true love never runs smooth.” Mrs. Doyle—«1 know it; my husband swore terribly when the bill came in for that love of a Christmas bonnet.” \\ "2. WHY HE SWOONED. CHRISTMASTID! a E. Mrs. Newzrwep (the day ofter)—* Oh, John, | bought six boxes of cheap cigars yesterday for my Stella— Did you get any duplicate presents?” dar Uncle Jonas, the sea captain, who lives In Maine. I have just shfpped them to him by express. 4 fs aber » They only cost me thirty cents a box, but I'm sure he won't be able to tell them from good ones. Bella— Yes ; four men gave me their hearts.” Why, how funny you look, John! Are you ill?” comicbooks.com