Judge — December 13, 1902 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO THE DOWN-TRODDEN. H, WHY need we moan and groan ‘Neath the weight of the Juggernaut wheel? For even the worm will turn Out for the automobile. FOREST TALK. First stag lers was shot.” Second stag pen?” First stag—» We was evidently mistaken for a guide “Yes, poor old Ant- “ How did it hap- ON THE PLAINS. Sagebrush Sam —* That tens derfoot says he’s a ridin’-school grad- He had no pull: vate.” He was too full, ~ ~, ‘ Cactus Cal—« Mebbe he is; but And think it was quite right. 4 ‘The law, of course. © jest wait till he tackles that brone pes pte to eons eaaaan> One must enforce an’ you'll see him git a post-graduate Mossy Fe twe ceets.1'd knock yer heed off! Arrest a shoe that's tight. Witty Guosor—"'I'm sorry, Mugsy, but I haven't got course.” the money~honest!” NOISY NEWS. 66), WHAT is this terrible noise I hear?” ‘Tis only a drop in the subway, dear.” WHAT SOMETIMES HAPPENS. you do anything with this?” asked the Il, thin man as he hesitatingly handed a manuscript to the editor. The latter looked at it with trained eye. “Yes,"he said as he rang hi office-boy ; I'll print it to-morro! bell for an AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. ITE. beast of burden Balam knew Gets more of blame than praise ; Yet, although good mules may be few, ‘A good mule works both w. PRLIX CARMEN, DEMOSTHENES was rehearsing a declama. tion when a friend asked him why he prac- ticed with pebbles in his mouth. “ Giwan !" replied the orator in fluent Greek. ‘Them ain't pebbles—it's a new kind of break- Wi r 1 Waunece Bbaitenaain’ BrTlOn fast-food I'm eating.” Horror-stricken, the in- Wairrte—"* Joel le, are yew goin’ crazy?” ‘s ~ ar Sort —"Nos 1 haia't goin’ crazy. fm goin’ dewn—to—N'—York-—ter-morrer—an'—I'm— tuder fled, and the sound of the crunching re- gittin’—in—trainin’,"” sembled a slate-mil in operation. NOT CREAMERY. “ H°’. was the show ?” “The first part wasn’t bad, but the rest of it was pret- ty rank.” “Well, that's not surpris- cing that it was the ing, oleo.” WANTED A MONOPOLY. Edith— reasonable. Mertie—* What's he do- ing now?” Edith— As soon as 1 ac- cepted him he insisted that I should break all my other en- gagements.” eorge is so un- OVER THE WEDDING- PRESENTS. s6NOW, marriage isn't a lottery after all, is it, dear “ Well, I don’t see how we are going to get rid of some of ees ea these clocks unless we hol © sue wuiprtermee—"' Josh Medders says | am worth my welght in gold, paw.” raffle. Mr. Wuirrtetree—" Good! I'll bet ten dollars I kin stick him on that gold-brick | bought in N’ York last August.’ comicbooks.com