Judge, 1902-12-06 · page 6 of 16
Judge — December 6, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous sketches satirizing **romantic nostalgia and sentimental mythology**. The main story, "His Boyhood Home," mocks the common literary trope of the nostalgic visitor. A boy expects an old man revisiting his childhood home to reminisce fondly about climbing trees, fishing, and youthful freedom. Instead, the man reveals an unhappy past: he never climbed trees, dropped a dead cat in the well (earning a beating), and was kept under strict parental control. The boy's idealized expectations of rural childhood adventure—drawn from sentimental literature—collide with the man's actual grim reality. The smaller sketches continue this theme, deflating sentimentality: a tailor's customer wants only one trouser leg; motorists show no regret over deaths; a woman treasures a marriage notice over money. **The satire targets** Victorian and popular literature's romanticized portrayal of childhood and rural life, suggesting actual experience was often considerably less idyllic than cultural mythology suggested.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE DIDN'T WANT A PAIR. Prorrieror—"* So you wish a pair of trousers?" Assent-uinvep custouer—" No; I think one will be sufficient.” HIS BOYHOOD HOME. THE ancient-looking party wandered into the yard and was looking about him in a sort of half-puz- zled, half-familiar manner, when the son of the house, a bright boy who had read considerably, went out and accosted him. “You seem interested in the place, sir,” ob- served the boy politely. * Ought to be, I suppose,” grunted the stranger. “Lived here fifty years ago myself. “Ah!” commented the boy, with difficulty con- cealing his gratification. “ Won't you walk around with me and look the place over ?” The old man made an unintelligible sound of assent and they started out. “Old cherry-tree ’s still standing, I see," jerkily observed the stranger after sev- eral minutes’ silence. “Oh, yes,” replied the boy. “ Many ’s the time, I'll bet, you've climbed it to rob birds’ nests or to steal cherries —now, haven't you?” The old man looked at him blankly. Me ?” he finally inquired, tapping his chest in an interrogatory manner. “I never clumb a tree in my life—never cared any- thing about it, and probably couldn't if I'd wanted to, any way.” The boy looked surprised for a mo- ment, but cheered up noticeably when they came to the old abandoned well at the back of the house. “ [dare say this recalls many pleasant memories,” he remarked hopefully. “Pleasant nothing!" replied the old man in what seemed to the oy an unduly irritable manner. “ Dropped a dead cat in that well once, and I can feel the smart yet of the licking I got when the old gent found out about it. Besides that,” he added sour- ly," had to tramp half a mile to the near- est neighbor's after water for the next two or three weeks.” a The boy gasped in astonishment. This was so different from what he had expected. A moment later, however, they came to a little stream, and the boy exclaimed with a merry smile, “This suggests to your mind, very likely, a picture of yourself as a happy, barefoot boy, “No, it don’t,” snapped the old man. HAD NO COMPLAINT TO MAKE. First woror rieno—"'I was fined fifty dollars for running over and killing that man.” ‘Secon motor riewo—" And now | sup- pose his wife will sue you for the cost of the funeral expenses.”” First wotor rieno—‘' On the contrary, she insists on paying the fine.”* 1g on one of these banks and fishing with a bent pin?” “My mother was one of that fitty kind of women that can't bear to !et their children out of their sight, and she never used to allow me to hang around here, for fear I might fall in and get drowned.” “But surely you ran away once or twice and | came down here to fish on the sly ?" almost pleaded the boy. “Nope,” replied the old man gloomily; “I never dast. And if you had ever got just one thump- in’ from my father you wouldn't have dast, either.” The boy pressed his hand over his brow in a bewildered manner; then he turned and faced the old man determinedly. said he, “why did you ever man, “to tell the truth, I | was feeling kind of blue, and | I thought maybe it would | cheer me up a little to come back here and look around and then think how much better a time I'm having now than I had when I was a boy.” rosexr eDwAKD KERRY. PRICELESS TREASURES. Cobwigger—“ Was there any money in this pocket-book you lost?” Mrs. Cobwigger— + “Money? That's all you sordid men ‘think about. No, there wasn't any mon- ey; but it contained Bella's Fe marriage notice, a lock of SH mother’s hair, and all my 2. A LIGHT THAT DIDN'T FAIL. lovely recipes.” “Ahl_ This is better.”* 1, A LIGHT THAT DIDN'T FAIL. “That's a bum light.” comicbooks.com