Judge — November 15, 1902 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW TORK. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA WW ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers» = One copy, sr months, of 26 numbers One copy fo artes week Joclading the Chnistacas Juve. FOREIGN SUESCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries inthe postal union, $5.00 year Wesrexn Orrice—#28-829 Margucte Building, Chica. EvRortan Saues-acers—/aternational meves company, Bream!s building, Ohancery lane, "London. Brentans's, avenue def Opera, Paris, Suarbach's mews exchange, Main, the United States and Great Br HERE are also sermons in building-lots. eae JAWS show which way the political orator blows. BETWEEN the Scylla of Hill and the Charybdis of Bryan the Democrats will have to do some lively floundering to keep afloat. HERE IS a large, rosy fortune awaiting the indi- vidual who will put upon the market a Roman candle that will pop the balls into the air as rapidly as the popular novels of the day are popped out. LEST many politicians become bow-legged from straddling questions, it might be well for them, if they would stay on either and not on both sides, to seek a means of deliverance in the side-saddle. tows A CELEBRATED French bacteriologist has just made the important discovery that the corks of long-bottled wine are infested with micro- scopic spiders, a species of tyroglyphus, a repugnant mite which delights in begilding its inner spider with detritus. This husk of information should Serve as a warning to the faithful to drink their wine before it waxes white- whiskered; or, in other words, not to allow too great a length of time to intervene between drinks. Cee ees ~ THE LATEST INVENTION—and it should gladden the hearts of all sects, with the possible exception of fire-worshipers—is the non-ex- plosive celluloid collar. This improvement of the wiltless, soap-defying collar has been brought about by substituting hydrochlorate of turpentine for camphor. It is to be hoped that if the odor of the said hydrochlorate of turpentine is as apparent as that of camphor in the combustible collar it will have the effect of alleviating throat troubles as successfully as the camphor keeps moths out of the sartorial trappings of the wearer. It may yet become widely known as the balsamic collar, and fill with joy the rich and poor alike, and even be regarded with a kind of appreciation by the public laundry contingent. JHE TRUSTS of this country to-day are about as numerous as the spots ‘on the leopard, and, like those spots, dé not appear to be amenable to change. The general outcry against these so-called grinding monopolies has been so persistent and so loud that it is only right and proper to say, and to assure a long-suffering and patient public, that there are trusts and trusts. For instance, there is the department store, which is a trust that puts everything, from passementerie to prunes and from chiffon to canned chicken, at a price that places it within the reach of the very people who lift up their voices and cry out against monopoly, but who buy at the cut prices and allow the small dealer whose cause they champion to perish in the struggle for commercial existence. Such a trust as the department store, that literally ladles out prosperity from dawn until dusk to people in whose eyes a dime is magnified to the dimensions of a circus-ring, should not for a moment be placed, even by the most hostile critic, on a common level with the American tobacco trust, which swallows the small dealer in very much the same manner that a cobra swallows a rabbit that it has carefully vaselined for the occasion. The appetite of this surly and un- canny pachyderm is not to be appeased, and its stomach is so good that the small dealer does not have to be predigested or pasteurized for the ban- quet. This trust, which is American in name, is anything but American in spirit, and does not in any sense Lelong to the America of Jefferson and Lincoln and Roosevelt. But the righteous outcries against its habit of squeezing and freezing to death the small dealer who is anxious to flourish and prosper seems to do little good in the way of bringing about a better state of affairs. The most effectual way of dealing with this serpent is not to bruise its head, for that might gain it comfort and sympathy. Let it remain the subtlest beast of the tobacco-field, but let it remain alone, un- noticed and unmolested. When its cigars are unlit there will be no smoke to indicate the fire of its success, and when its plug is unmasticated it will chew the cud of a despair that will wrap it roundabout and gnaw at its vitals, while it contemplates space and silence, and marvels at their awful immensity. Leave it gloriously alone, that its vein of golden prosperity may peter out and cease to be. This is a much better plan than that of resorting to violence, inasmuch as it is not only higher art, but better form and more suggestive of the amen! of civilized society. Besides, it makes a cleaner corpse and a smoother and more harmonious funeral, even when the occupant of the casket is a hated and despised monster, beside which the picturesque one seen by St. John on the isle of Patmos is hardly a good second. WILLING TO OBLIGE. ‘Woman: ““ Why do you put chalk In your milk?” Mruxman—'* Well, mum, so many of our customers asks us to ‘chalk it up.’ "’ comicbooks.com