Judge, 1902-11-01 · page 4 of 16
Judge — November 1, 1902 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"Passé"** and **"A Dire Threat"** are poems mocking outdated social conventions and senatorial decorum, respectively—the latter depicting senators quarreling over parliamentary procedure. **"Getting Impatient"** is a brief dialogue joke about marriage engagements. **"Hard on the Trust"** features a humorous exchange about feeding poets, likely satirizing either artistic patronage or food scarcity during an economic crisis. **"Just Missed Them"** is a four-panel comic strip showing two men chasing what appears to be an automobile or some vehicle through countryside, with dialogue suggesting they've "just missed" catching it. The humor derives from the physical comedy and the era's relationship with emerging automotive technology. The illustrations use period pen-and-ink style typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
’ PASSE. | PRESUME you will pardon me when confess I'm exceedingly shy, And that, while I am fond of the men, Matrimony I never shall try. It is all very easy to laugh When you hear this confession, maybe; Bat it isn’t so pleasant by half For a sensitive lady like me. Ata german, cotillon, or ball— To whichever I happen alone— "Tis my custom to keep near the wall, Like a statue carved out of a stone. And the men, if by any such chance They have courage enough to ap. proach, Never ask me the favor to dance, But are eager to call for my coach. | Times have changed since my début a lot, And the men of to-day, while polite, Seem to petrify quick on the spot When they meet me in ball-dress at night. T would have the male sex understand, Notwithstanding my sensitive faults, ‘Some attention I used to command GETTING IMPATIENT. marriage. Don't you believe in long engagements 2" The count— Oh, yes, | do; but my creditors don’t.” Sg — automobile fellers ?—— The heiress—*1 don't see why you are in such a hurry about our Mrs. Justwed—" Ves, love. Stop at the grocery-store and tell A DIRE THREAT. HE warring senators glared vi- ciously at one another. “Scoundrel !” hissed one. “Robber! snarled the other in great heat. “Liar!” “Puppy !” : The debate was approaching the unparliamentary stage. “If you say another word,” yelled the first senator, his eyes snap- ping and his chest heaving with an- 9 ger, “I shall not be responsible for the consequences to you.” “What will you do?” asked the | second, his right hand moving quietly 1 toward his hip-pocket. “Do?” thundered the first. “Why, you’ contemptible whipper- . snapper! I'll boom you for the vice- | presidency.” Trembling with mingled fear oie Taw and wrath, the second senator sank 4 ; z ws into his seat and gnashed his teeth \ Tare, betes they, lnveniea the waltz EY VL Se) in a manner that proved conclusively i And although I don’t dance HARD ON THE TRUST. that he was baffled. | | ; Eqyeno—"I hope you are dolng all you can to fight this food i Sine 1i Yes, 1 Fofteed ‘acvebioed'/posrns’ thle; moraling!suat to PARTICULAR. | FRUX CARMEN. keep the poets from buying food."* Mr, Justwed —« Shall I order anything for the house, on my way ? | to the office, this morning, my dear ?” them to send up a five-pound bag of salt right away. And, George, tell them to be sure and see that it is fresh.” 4. —Gee, Bill! | almost seen him." it JUST MISSED comicbooks.com