Judge, 1902-10-25 · page 6 of 16
Judge — October 25, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Their Orders"** mocks hypochondriacs—a chronic dyspeptic requests only the holes from Swiss cheese, treating his stomach as an obsession worthy of ridiculous dietary extremes. **"A Comparison"** uses rural characters (Farmer Bentover and Squire Stackpole) to joke about politician Colonel Hunkthunder's resilience after electoral defeats, comparing him to a wet sheet that pops back up when pushed down—implying politicians' persistent, annoying comebacks. **"In the Language of Flowers"** and **"Emeritus"** are brief one-liners about coldness and a degree for Croker (likely Richard Croker, the Tammany Hall boss). The bottom section is a six-panel comic strip titled **"One Way to Get a Dinner Without Paying for It,"** showing slapstick chaos at a restaurant—a waiter placing a tile incorrectly, someone losing their hat, a thief being chased, culminating in someone getting a free dinner through mayhem rather than payment. The overall tone is lighthearted social satire typical of Gilded Age American humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘THEIR ORDERS. S} IMME a cheese sandwich,” said the human ostrich, addressing the fair young thing who administered the refections at the railroad lunch- counter. “And say, make it outer Swiss cheese, will yer?" «1am obliged to exercise great care in dieting,” said the idolator, who worshiped his own stomach, as is the way of the chronic lyspep- tic. “You may give me the holes out of the gentleman's Swiss cheese, if you please.” ' A COMPARISON. $6 COLONEL HUNKTHUNDER, the politician, has a queer way of bobbin’ up again every time after he’s been defeated,” musingly said honest Farmer Bentover. “That's a fact,” returned ‘Squire Stackpole, who was equally as farmerish and presumably as honest. “He's a good ‘eal like a wet sheet in a wash-tub—when you push him down in one place he bulges right up in another.” IN THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS. Miss Rose—"‘Oh, dear! this is awful. | under- stand now why it 1s so cold in the hot-house."” EMERITUS. 46] HEAR some college is going to confer a de- gree on Croker.” “ What is it to be—{.s.d. 2” BUILT ON MILTON. ATCHING a while the female form divine With lifted skirts approach the cars elate, Man learns the truth of Milton's noble line— “« They too observe who only stand and wait ELK CARMEN. BETWEEN THE ACTS. Willie— You don't seem to enjoy that sand- wich, Miss Magin.” Bonnie— No. This chicken tastes lik a IN OLD KENTUCKY. eur aaa Do you know any good way to age whiskey, colonel?" sii : . No. majah: I don't. I've tried taking ledge and also the Keeley cure, Willie—“ Well, Miss Magin, you must re- but durned if | ever succeeded yet in letting my whiskey get very aged.” member that’s ‘fine board.’ R —" This sata This will work all right. You just > _ Now to place the tile in the right spot. — es best in the house fs none too 4. ——Whoo! there goes my best hat.— 5. ——I'll catch that thiet or lose a leg. — ONE WAY TO GET A DINNER WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT. 6. —Now, Horatio, it's your turn for dinner.” comicbooks.com