Judge — October 18, 1902 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. 110 VIFTH AVENUE, NEW TORK. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA WW ADVANCE ‘sa numbers - - $5.00 or numbers = 349 weeks ss > tes he Cumtstaas Juocs FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 4 year Wasraxn Urrice—828-529 Marguctte Building, Chie Fomoreas n reams building, Chancery lane F.C, London. Brentane's, arvane de COpra, Paris; Saarbach's mews exchange, Germany. The co f JUDGE are protectes yright in both the United States and Great Brita. Intriagement of this copyright will be pre a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manuscripts, 1nd unavailable canoot be guaranteed. 0d. all contributions sent to the Art Departmeat should have the sender's full eof stamps fo the full lerial not accepted. ANG! goes the popcorn as it gayly pops Into a blossom delicately white And gilds the small boy’s vision with delight, And all his dream with finest sunshine tops, S the shining apple, when it drops And caroms on his lupine appetite And on its vestibule, his rosy bite, Glads him until his every bugbear hops And capers swiftly unto otherwhere, Across the bed of salvias that bloom In red-hot beauty like the poker pla That blows among the asters frail That put a Wh ty and fair, urple polish on the gloom - citing winds the fat bow-wow unpant. SOME satirical philosopher, who thinks he knows what he is talking about, says that Uncle Russell's riches are unique, inasmuch as they are the only ones oa record that are not equipped with wings. MATTER how humble and unpretentious a handler of the ribbons he may be, the driver still feels the prestige and glory of his position as he never felt it before at the supreme moment when the smiling acolyte ‘steps forth from the office and proceeds to weigh him with the load of coal. THE COAL-HEAVER now looks grim fate in the eye and ventures the opinion that he is more heaved against than heaving. While touching on the topmost topic, coal, it may not be entirely out of place to inform a correspondent that, as a baronet is practically a little baron, a coql baronet is as much an impossibility as a coal baron is a sure thing. N° THE blazes rich and ruddy Are'swirling round the log That dries and roasts the muddy + And rain-befrescoed dog. While sitting on the settle We watch within its gleam The “* Medford”? and the kettle And dream and dream and dream. A PLAGUE has just broken out among the statues in a certain museum in Athens which threatens to reduce the victims to dust. Steps have been taken to check the disease, which is said to be rapidly spreading. Whether the statues are bathed or vaccinated, or both, we are not able to say. But we are able to say, and we say it with boundless joy, that we trust that this disease may continue to spread until it reaches and wipes out some of the statues in Central park and in other parts of this town. It is not likely that these atrocities in the name of art will ever be removed by legislation, and it should therefore be a source of satisfaction to know that a disease has broken out that may cause them to disintegrate and dis- aippear. Let us hope that it will be impossible to quarantine them against the infection, which we trust may also extend to the perpetrators of these clumsy and unique monstrosities of sculpture. SHE SALVIA is flashing, the honeysuck! not; the woodman round is dashing to sell you on the spot the sycamore and maple to make the ruddy blaze that cooks the wholesome staple, though buckwheat, rice, or maize. The epicure is grappling with quail and sausage-meat; the squirrel on the sapling is laughing at defeat. The leaf is gently falling and drifting, from the vine; the football player ’s sprawling and sliding on his spine. The butternut is dancing athwart the lilac haze; the rabbit's wildly pranc- ing across the chrysoprase and purple dingle gayly, a meteor of joy, that glads the hunter daily, as if it were a toy. And for this very reason we bang upon the lute tl this merry season is very seldom mute, but ready all the praises of autumn-tide to sound, until the music dazes and makes the Poet bound and bound in boundless rapture until he has to sigh in eighteen- karat rapture, Long wave the pumpkin pie !”” A PROPOSED STRIKE by the united and amalgamated pie puddlers has fortunately been averted, and the disk of epicurean joy is now being cast in numbers that make the sands of the shore of time look like the proverbial seven cents. Golcondas of pie blossom on every hand, to the end that howling happiness is enshrined in the ever-appreciative heart of the American who loves pie circumferentially and diametrically, without reference to thickness. Aside from the pleasant fact that there is not a possibility of the land’s knowing a pie famine, or even a common Poverty of pie, the confirmed pie-eater will be glad to learn that the pie- foundry of to-day is really a laboratory, though called an atelier, and that among the workers therein are specialists known as ‘* cocoanut mixers,” “+ mince-pie chemists,” “* squash-trimmers,” etc. This should be a guaran- tee that all pies are antiseptic, pasteurized and predigested, and therefore in every way up to the standard of sanitary excellence demanded by the bac- teriologist, be he a pie-fiend or not. . RIGHT UP TO DATE. Tour:st (in Frozen Dog) ~"* Your western villages seem to have all the modern improvements.”” Bronco Bit—"' Well, jest-a leetle. Why, when the boys goes arter a hoss-thief now they carries an electric chair an’ a dynamo instead of a rope." comicbooks.com