Judge — October 11, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Binks- = \\ SNL SANG TROUBLE IN BUGVILLE. rén't. four ‘ Mr. Bu (the cook)—* Darn it! I wish people would stop ordering eggs for breakfast—it's adan- Passing, and haven't fought at any time over gerous business.”* TT Is FALL. LITTLE jats and pushes, Little drops of gore, Bring to our attention The football game once more. AT THE ZOO. The cockatoo— Hey, down there! What the dickens are you laughing about ?" The hyena—“ You oughter seen the stork when he heard that seventeen pairs of twins had been born into the crocodile family. By gosh! he went straight up in the air.” DISCOURAGING THE IDEA. “ HAT do you think,” asks WwW the rector, “of the sug- gestion that we have women to take up the collection ?” “Not at this time of the year,” answers the wise old ves- tryman, “Now that the fall mil- linery is coming in you couldn't induce a woman to pass the hat on any pretext.” SPORTING NOTE. se]N THE first place "—The Pittsburgs. HIS FITNESS. ARVE the funny poem, The essay and the joke, The mirth of all the readers Instanter to provoke. At slashing through the paper Tam a triumph wild ; I catch the things that tickle ‘The grown-up and the child. I'm William Tompkins Horner, And c’er I make things whizz With these old creaky scissors Because I know my biz. For though I have no judgment, My business I know ; I learned it cutting coupons ‘Some twenty years ago. ‘THE USUAL WAY. So you sold your incubator 2” ¢ eet p YT New ‘ARMER Oarain—'* Mark my words—if Justwedded’s idee is ter git that poor balloonist whar he can't escape an’ then tell him what his baby said thar’ll be another balloon horror." NO DANCER. Parson Jonnson—" Ah wants ter speak ter yo", deacon, erbout de habit yo’ has ob goin’ ter sleep in chu’ch. It worries me.” Deacon Jackson—"Oh, doan’ let it worry yo’, pahson; Ah allers leaves mah pocket-book at home, yo" know.” ‘THE LACK. seLJUH! Call this a dramatic compan snarled the unpaid * Uncle-Tom’s-Cabin actor, addressing the manager of the aggrega- tion,. “Why, confound you! you haven't got even"—he had been fed on petrified promises and baked atmosphere till he rattled like a sack of dry leaves as he shook with anger—"a ghost of a show. WAR ACCORDING TO HOYLE. First Colombian revolutionist —" At any rate, so far we haven't been accused of violating any of the rules of civilized warfare.” Second Colombian revolutionist— have stopped firing when railway tr cight hours a working-< ANOTHER BRIGHT BABY. Farmer Havraxe—* Gosh! Josh Justwedded volunteered ter go up in th’ balloon with th’ aeronaut to-day at th’ comicbooks.com