Judge, 1902-10-11 · page 10 of 16
Judge — October 11, 1902 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's format: **"His Explanation"** features a knockabout actor whose oversized head won't fit his hat—a visual gag about a vaudeville-type performer known for physical comedy. **"The Fable of the Hilarious Home-Coming"** satirizes the Biblical prodigal son parable. A henpecked husband escapes his domineering wife, returns after ten years expecting forgiveness, only to find her remarried. The "moral" pivots to contemporary economics: the "fatted calf" is scarce because of the beef trust's monopoly practices—a reference to real Progressive-Era concerns about meat industry monopolies controlling prices. **Other brief items** include wordplay jokes ("The Test"), a classroom quip about millions, and football humor about injured players. **"Accounted For"** jokes about an Irish drunk ("Finnigan") singing "God Save the King"—attributed humorously to his having a gold tooth crown, suggesting dental work made him loyal to royalty. This relies on ethnic Irish stereotypes common to the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AM the kind of knockabout Ac-tor that makes the people shout, And this is just the reason that My head ’s too big to fit my hat; Likewise the reason, be it said, = My hat ’s too small to fit my head. In size I truthfully may say They do not seem to meet half way. That's why I laugh with mouth unshut, As represented in the cut. ‘THE FABLE OF THE HILARIOUS HOME-COMING. ONCE upon a time there was a man who had been the husband of a commanding, hawk-billed wo- man for so many years that he had acquired the habit of dodging every time he was abruptly spoken to, like a horse that has been beaten over the head. One day his wife handed him a small tin pail and an order to fetch an errand home in it. On the way he got to thinking it over, and, arriving at a sudden resolution, he hid the pail in a AT THE SHORE. * Have you seen all the sights here ?"* He—‘Are there others?" | handy fence-corner and shaped his course to a distant clime. the tin pail ten years before and asked to be per- After ten years of vicissitudes he went back, wearing a new plug-hat full of happy _ mitted to go with him. anticipations, largely based on what he could recollect of the parable of the prodigal son. Moral—From this we should learn that, owing He found his wife to the rapacity of wedded to another . the beef trust, and man, and the lat- : for other equally ter, upon the ar- rival of his prede- cessor, quietly picked up a sneak and went out. Aft- er the wanderer | had unbosomed | himself of his little | cogent reasons, the fated calf is by no means as plentiful as he used to be. Tow F. MORGAN. THE TEST. Jaggles— “ How can you tell the head ofa match. in the dark? Waggles—lt is always the end you don't try to say, his former helpmeet coldly in- vited him to start | on another journey and not be in such | a hurry to get | back, As he was | strike.” | beginning to climb out again for the distant clime from JUST so. Teacher— “How many make whence he had come his success- | or, the second hus- a million 2” band, emerged ae Johnny Smart from the fence-cor- —"About one in THE NEXT BEST THING. “That ‘ scrub’ half-back has showed up for practice with six ribs broke.”” niion Well, the boys will have to practice breaking his arms and legs, then." ma‘am. ner where the first peur: a million, I guess, man had hidden Foorsatt coach—' vee ee at —~ ACCOUNTED FOR. Casey—" Finnigan 's drunk an’ singin’ ‘ God save th’ king.” = Cosnican—"* Yis. Th’ lobshter ‘s had leanin’s toward royalty iver since he had a gold crown put in his tooth.’ comicbooks.com