Judge — September 27, 1902 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

age AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORE. Terms to Subscribers, UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE $00 FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries i> the postal union, $6.00 a year. Wasrexx Ornice—$28-829 Marguctie Building, Chicago. EUROPEAN SALES-AGENTS—Intermational mews company, Dream's building, Jane, EG. 2 Brentand's, avenue def Opera, Paris; Saarbach's mews exchange, Mains, any. The contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright Is both the Usited States and Great Britais. Iatrlagement of this copyright will be promptly aed vigoroesly prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inc self-addressed envelope with all wasescripts, jepanyiog joke or pictare, and NOT pon a separate slip of paper. laclosure of stamps to the full amoust of postage Is also required, to insure sate and prompt retura of rsateria! not accepted. HE CRICKET fifes within the crannied wall; Yea, like a dollar watch he ticks and ticks, And in his ecstasy the dust upkicks And somersaults along the misty mall. We often marvel at his wheezing call, When he is putting in his biggest licks, As on his way, which carefully he picks, He bounds and bounces like a rubber ball. We trust that when he raises his bazoo, Or barbed-wire note, within the dreamy lea, As round about so restlessly he pops, He’s quite as glad and happy through and through, And full of gilt-edged rapture, e’en as we At that most blissful moment when he stops. AFTER A WHILE the average statesman may con- sider it necessary to take a post-graduate: course in agriculture, if only to gain a superficial knowledge of that tempestuous profession, in order to serve his party when called upon to harangue the hayseeds at the an- nual county fair. eee COAL may soon be sold on the installment plan, and then the whale that is puffed up to overflowing with false pride may fondly imagine that he is full of coal-oil. FROM woolly old Chicago To “silken Samarcand” Upon our good digestion The squirrel, richly panned, Performs, as on a fence-rail, A gilt-edged saraband. [TIS the highest kind of high art to roll in wealth in such a way as not to roll out of it. Se [7 WOULD BE a gilt-edged blessing for poor, struggling humanity if the secret of uccess could be imparted to some close-mouthed woman. ‘THE CABBAGE-LEAF has practically retired from the business of re- frigerating the human dome of thought, and the laurel of fame is consequently happy and no longer jealous of its hated rival. GIR THOMAS LIPTON says that Shamrock IIL. will represent the third leaf on the Irish laurel. And yet Sir Thomas should be congratulated on the fact that the shamrock, unlike th clover, is never four-leaved. Nature, evidently appreciating the qualities that go to make so genuine a sportsman as Sir Thomas, created the shamrock with three leaves that he might, by the operation, be money in pocket. eee . AFTER A WHILE the diamond-backed terrapin may be known as coal- backed, and an old saying may be transformed into coal cut coal. When these innovations appear upon the festive scene the society belle will wear coal-dust in her hair, and feel highly complimented, not to say flattered, when told that her eyes are like two lumps of anthracite,and that her hair would shame the Lehigh’s deepest glint. This reminds us of a scientific item now going the rounds that a Baltimore chemist has just in- vented an artificial fuel which he thinks may ultimately displace coal. The basis of the compound is ordinary dirt, which, we trust, means that the article may be dirt cheap. It will thus be seen that we are to have paste coals as well as paste diamcnds, and that a lapidary may in time be con- nected with each and every reputable coal-yard, that the proprietor may not be victimized by the enterprising coal-sharp. And after a while royalty may delight in crown coals. vee THE KATYDID is rasping The midnight near and far. Oh, yes; he is unclasping His rattle-trap guitar, Which means that on the canna The frost will soon complete- Ly squelch the wild hosanna That flows from the “ moskeet.”” ‘TRUE ENOUGH. Aor (on the spotted horse)—‘* Do you think riding ts such good exercise?” Jones—"' Depends on how you ride. You ought to get plenty of it.” comicbooks.com