Judge, 1902-09-13 · page 4 of 16
Judge — September 13, 1902 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous sketches and dialogues typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"School"** opens with a poem about truancy and mischief. **"At Mud Knob"** presents a conversation where one character defends a heavy smoker as "vegetarian," a joke about unconventional excuses. **"She Did, Too"** satirizes wealthy women's summer tourism, with a chorus girl listing fashionable destinations (Switzerland, Newport, the White Mountains) before revealing she simply "washed dishes." **"Getting at the Truth"** depicts a grocer and clerk discussing billing disputes. **"Quite Right"** contains brief witticisms about modern life's disappointments. **"A Conqueror"** shows a street vendor claiming his baby is a "winner" while peddling toys—likely mocking commercialized childhood or boastful parenting. The humor targets class pretensions, materialism, and everyday absurdities familiar to Judge's middle-class readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SCHOOL. ONCE more the bel begins to ring, And o'er the dell I gayly wing. ‘At book and slate I now must din And strike my gait, for school is in. No more I'll scud and scoot and skim And in the mud-hole take a swim, Or smoke the corn-silk cigarette At night and morn and noon, you bet! For school is in, and on my way I now must spin, nor stop to play. The bell I hear, so swift and straight T now must steer, oF I'll be late. AT MUD KNOB. Jasper—* That fellow Jones smokes all the time. He fairly lives on tobacco.” Jumpuppe—" Why, of course. He is a vegetarian, you know.” NEW AT THE BUSINESS. Desrerate Dan (the scourge of the Sierras)—"*If I'd 'a° known you was such a bum outlaw | wouldn't ‘a’ brung you along. Cryin’ because yer lost a cent! Wait till a stage-coach comes along an‘ I'll git yer twelve at (btn | million cents." SHE DID, TOO. | COYVHERE did you spend the summer?" asked the y front-row chorus-girl. “TL toured Switzerland in an auto,” said the little girl with the saucy kick. “Ttook the waters at Aix-les-Bains,” said the girl with the diamond buckles on her slippers. “1 summered at Newport,” said the dreamy blonde in the pink slippers. “Tstudied Shakespeare while in the White moun- tains,” said the auburn-haired one who led the grand marches. “LT worried with my modiste in dear Paree,” gur- gled the girl who never could catch step. “And what did you do this summer?" they all asked of the first chorus-girl, : 12" she murmured, Oh, I washed dishes, too.” N\\ AUG i= QUITE RIGHT. Weary Willie— Modern improvements may be fine, but they have their drawbacks.” Tired Traddles— For instance? Weary Willie—“ When a fellow sneaks into a Grocery-cierx—"' They’s "bout a bushel o' aigs daown celler thet orto be thrown aout. stable to sleep nowadays he finds nothing in it but Grocer—"Thrown aout? Say, you go fetch them algs up here an’ putasignon‘em— 4.10 hay * Only forty-nine cents a bushel. These algs can’t be beat.’ "* baleas nay. GETTING AT THE TRUTH. Ree A CONQUEROR. ® Newtrwep—"'| tell you my baby is a winner."” Frieno— What you might call a vici-kid, eh?" comicbooks.com