Judge — September 13, 1902 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Guage AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 FIFTH AVEXCE, NEW TORE. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. 05 copy: Sv dencha of sb caters One copy, for thieves weeks = including the Curistuas Jooce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.co a year. Wasreax Orrice—$28-829 Marguctte Building, Chicago. Evnorean saes-acenrs—/aternatioal news company. Dream's building, Chancery lane, EC. London, Brentand's, avenue de bOpera, Paris; Saarbach’s mews exchange, Mains, Germany.” The contents.of JUDGE are protected by copyright Ia both the Usited States and Great Britale. Intriagement of this copyright will be promptly and vigoroesly prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast inclose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all masascripts, ‘otherwise return of the [atier when found unavailable cansot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and alf contributions seat to the Art Departueat should have the seader's tell same and address written plainly on each and every separate stetch. The accompanyiag joke or descriptive letter-press should ia every instance be written upon its ledividea! plctere, and ROT pon a separate slip of paper. Iaclosure of stamps to the full amouat of postage is alse required, fo iasare sale and prompt retarn of material pot accepted. RIGHT AUTUMN, in her rosy polonaise, "Performs a skirt-dance by the misty mere And scatters chestnuts gayly there and here And otherwhere amid the ribboned haze; She sets the songful forest all ablaze ‘And makes the doughnut on the scene appear, And hangs forever and a day the sere And yellow “straw” afar from human gaze. She plants her banner on the wooded crest And glads the cricket in the languid ferns And chants the pancake’s beauties manifold; And when her cider wakes the merry jest Fancy takes off its coat and wildly turns Blithe somersaults along her cloth-of-gold. IN ULTRA-FASHIONABLE CIRCLES the patrician malady known by the poetic title of rose-cold may shortly be compelled to lower its pristine colors to the latest catarrhal fantasy, softcoalitis. put A BEGGAR in an automobile and he will strike a sixty-mile-an- hour clip for Newport. ARTHUR PUE GORMAN may not be as much of a cinder in the public eye as in former years, yet the fact cannot be denied that he has climbed into the history of his time, where he now shines and glimmers as the rarest of all rare combinations of sphinx and pachyderm. ‘THE COUNTY FAIR will soon be here, with fatted pig and fatted steer, and crimson grape and purple plum, and farmers gay and farmers glum. The apples will be red and ripe, the squash will wake joy’s golden pipe, and all good folk with rapture great will hear the orator orate. The apple gilds the inner cow, the leaf is wilting on the bough; the base- ball season ’s waxing dim; the golden-rod its gorgeous glim is lighting by the murky mere; and you can bet, both far and near, the county fair will ‘soon be here. oe EVEN TONSORIAL ART is long, if we may judge by the detailed report of a recent congress of the masters of this craft. The germless shave was discussed, and also the far-reaching influence of hair-food, and the paradoxical practice of burnishing a red mustache with brilliantine. A scientific paper, explanating the esoteric mysteries of pushing the razor against the grain and of shaving a man two days under the skin, was read amid storms of applause by a master of tonsorial phrase, who also admon- ished his brothers to consider inviolate any husk of information dropped by the shavee, and above all other things to religiously practice the arts of silence. Ss ‘THE DEMOCRATS do not appear to be favorably impressed with and by the full dinner-pail. Therefore they are hurling large, picturesque chunks of invective at it. They are evidently so accustomed to a wind diet that they naturally regard the full dinner-pail as an anti-lean proposi- tion and therefore an institution to be looked upon with peculiar dread and awe. They are not likely to become the victims of its baleful influence, however, as it is quite impossible for them to get a one-meal grip on the full dinner-pail, which is only another name for the horn of plenty. eles CO}: VERY SOON the old four-minute horse, Hitched to the creaking, antique rattle-trap Thing that on wheels goes whirling in a slap- Bang manner round the fair-ground’s dusty course, Will glide and slide add jump and plunge to force His nose ahead, that he may gayly wrap His owner’s purse about the prize and cap- Ture fame, whose laurel is a lasting source Of gilt-edged comfort even to the big Slab-sided nag whose symmetry ’s a thing Of beauty and a joy for seven cents, Whether it’s won in that fast time called jig Or in a walk, while all the hayseeds sing His praises till the welkin reeks with rents. HE SAW HIM FIRST. * Cohen Ae a burglar In his shtore last night und turned him over to der police.’* Vat'a fool! rhy didn't he rob him himself ?”” comicbooks.com