Judge, 1902-08-30 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 30, 1902 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical vignettes typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Never Again"** mocks a man who opened a bird hotel during spring migration, ruining the local bird population for hunting. Now impoverished, he can no longer afford luxuries like ortolan and quail—the very birds he displaced. **"No Pleasure and Less Profit"** compares attending a lecture-concert explaining music to eating dinner at a cooking school: both are tedious educational experiences rather than genuine enjoyment. **"Safe From Their Friends"** jokes that a sewing circle couldn't gossip because all members were present—implying women gossip about those absent. **"Couldn't Account For It"** features rural characters (Uncle Ezra Wilkins, Hank Hunkins) puzzled why a city visitor complains about butter this season when it's identical to last year's—subtle mockery of city folk's pretension. **"A Happy Thought"** and **"The Real Thing"** are brief quips about servant recommendations and genuine versus imitation marble. The humor relies on period social stereotypes and class-based comedy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| NEVER AGAIN. l™ VERY sad at heart, Marie— Oh, listen to my wail! This winter we can’t live, ah, me! On ortolan and quail. And this is all because last spring, Within a daisy dell, When all the birds were on the wing. T opened a hotel. T opened a hotel, Marie, When spring comes up the vale once more ‘The which cold fate has shut, And all the rosebuds swell, And round the town for work T flee, You bet I'll ope, on mount or shore, T caper and I cut. No ozone-bound hotel. NO PLEASURE AND LESS PROFIT. SPRING ON THE RANGE. H4VYE you ever attended one of those concerts where a lecturer explains a eo A eo SE the pletebastne: Them cow- + what the music means? If you have you know how it feels to eat din- ‘Second srezn—"' Don't worry, Doughgie. It would take four like ner at a cooking-school, you to make one fifteen-cent jar of beef-extract."* ———__—___-—— SAFE FROM THEIR FRIENDS. * Was there any gossip at the sewing-circle?” Mansonie—" How could there be? Every one of the members was present.” COULDN'T ACCOUNT FOR IT. ; Uncue Ezra Witxins—"* Hanged if these city fellers hain't queer. Thet young Con Ce ities ciate hev no complaint last summer, but this season he’s allus A HAPPY THOUGHT. : ickin’ "bout ter.” ‘Sue—" Papa says he thinks our love-affair should be checked.”” j Hank Hunxins—" What's the matter with {t?”" He—" Dear, thoughtful old guy! Tell him to make the cheque i Uncte Ezra— Cussed if | know. It's the same butter we hed last year.”” for four figures, if possible." M®. PARV A RECOMMENDATION. A FAITHFUL colored servant had recommended a friend to take charge of her mistress's delicaterlittle girl. * Do you thi lly," asked the anxious mother, «that I could trust Aunt Ellen with the entire care of the baby ?* “Law, yes, ma‘am! Ellen knows all ‘bout childun. She's done buried six.” THE REAL THING. U is exhibiting his new house to afriend, whorpauses before a-fifely-carved mantel, Friend—" What an exquisite thing! Carrara, isn’t it?” Host— No, indeed ; it's the genuine marble. comicbooks.com