Judge — August 30, 1902 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE WRONG “RECEIPT.” RS, DUZZIT has at last discovered the difference een a ‘‘re- ceipt” and a “reci through the ministrations of an obedient cook and a careless husband. At least, she blames it on her husband's care- lessness, although he pleads inno- cence in that respect, but if feminine logic counts for anything, he merits the accusation. Mrs. Duzzit clipped a recipe for a new pudding from her magazine the other day and placed it under a book on the library table. Then she paid the grocer’s bill and threw it with some other settled accounts in the drawer of the same table. Conclud- ing one day to try the pudding, she said to Lucinda, the cook, as she was mapping out the dinner: “You go up to the library and tell Mr. Duzzit to give you that new receipt I left about the library table. T am going shopping and may not get back until dinner is ready, but all you need to do is to use just the proportion of ingredients given in the receipt, and then we'll see whether that new pudding is as good as the magazine promised it would be." “Yassum," said Lucinda. Mrs. Duzzit left and Lucinda went to the library. “Please, suh," she remarked, “T des wants dat receipt Missus Duz- zit done lef’ hyah.” “What receipt?” asked Mr. Duz- zit. t “De one whut tell "bout all dem t'ings I's got ter put in dat new pud- din’. She say she put hit on de lib’ry table.” Mr. Duzzit tossed the papers about, peered into the drawers, and finatly handed Lucinda a slip which seemed to be what she wanted. About half an hour later Lucinda rapped softly on the door of the library and apologetically said, “'Scuse me, suh, but,mus’ I use all dese hyuh t’ings whut dishyere papuh sez ter use?” “Sure thing,” answered Mr. Duz- zit, ‘Do just as Mrs. Duzzit said you should.” Lucinda returned to her king- dom mumbling about the peculiari. ties of the white folks, and for the next two hours she was busy hunting all over the kitchen and pantry for the necessary-articles for the pudding. At dinner she carried the pud- ding in on the largest tray in the house and deposited it on the serving table with an air which said that she washed her hands of all consequences. “What is that, Lucinda?” asked her mistress. * "De puddin’. “The pudding? Goodness gra- cious! I never dreamed jt would be the obedient Harry—"Don't you remember that when we were engaged last summer we cut our initials on that tree?” “Oh, that’ s achestnut.”"— Bridget—* Oi can't eh ma‘am, on- less ye give me more a ‘Hiram Often What! Why, you don't now how to cook or do bouss: wore at all.’” Th ji ridget—“ That's jist it, ma’am; not f lensrin® how, sure the wurk is all the pest for me, ma'am.”—Philadelphia ress. that big. You may help us to some of it, though.” When Mr. Duzzit's portion was placed before him he scanned it critically, sniffed suspiciously, and turned it gingerly over with his spoon, Mrs. Duzzit, however, had the courage which comes from an im- plicit faith in the culinary page, and she tried a spoonful. “Mercy!” she cried. ‘* Why, Lu- cinda, what’ in the world have you put in this?” “Nuffin’ ‘cept whut de receipt said ter use," avowed Lucinda. “Hum,” mused Mr. Duzzit. must be a funny recipe.” “Well,” asserted Mrs. Duzzit, “I never saw such a looking affair be- fore in all my life. Lucinda, you surely have made a mistake in mixing it.” “Deed, I hasn't,” stoutly an- swered the cook. ‘I done use eve’y- t'ing des lak de papeh said.” “Did they offer a cash prize to any one who would eat the pud- ding?” inquired Mr. Duzzit. ‘Be- cause, if they did, I am about to miss an opportunity to enrich myself, for I must deprive myself of the extreme pleasure of tackling this compound.” “T des gib mah two week: notice raight now,” announced Lu- cinda. “Yo all de fust white folks whut say dey won't eat mah cookin’, en I know whah dey plenty er quality folks dat glad ter hab me in dey kitchen. En I gwine right out en fotch in dat receipt, en yo’ see fo’ yo'se'fs dat I des use whut hit say ter use.” Lucinda retreated to the kitchen in sable dignity, and returned solemn- ly, bearing the “receipt,” which read: “H.E. Duzzit to L Feedam, Dr. “One can corn, ro cents; one box shoe polish, 5 cents; six candles, 15 cents; two pounds rice, 10 cents; two bars washing soap, 9 cents; one cake yeast, 1 cent; bottle olive oil, 25 cents; one-half peck potatoes, 20 cents; one mackerel, 18 cents; three pounds prunes, 45 cents; ten pounds salt, 10 cents; six packages flower seed, 30 cents; one feather duster, 35 cents. Paid.”” “Dah 't is,” said Lucinda. ‘‘Dah "tis. An’ dey all in dat ole puddin’ ‘ceptin’ de han'le er dat feather dusteh, en’ blame’ 'f I knows how ter wuk hit in whenst I's etirri all dat otheh trash. An’ ef lak dat kin’ er puddin’, den yo" Biah git some otheh lady ter ten’ ter de cookin’ foh yo’, 'case I ain’ use’ ter hit.”” But Mr. Duzzit soberly took his wife by the arm, led her to the library, took down the big dictionary, and pointed out the words “ receipt” and “recipe” and their definitions. Ww. 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